A 60-90cm tall human who has exited the “aaaaw” phase and entered the “awfuuuuuuuck” phase. Generally have no respect or regard for anything and unwittingly forces its parents into alcoholism. They don’t sleep, don’t eat food, however they do have a nak for interior design using simple tools such as crayons, lipstick and eyeliner. They are the second most common cause of hypertension and first most common cause of liver serrosis. toddler
Shit Jim, you look like you’ve had a bender this morning! “ don’t be silly Cheryl, I got totally toddlered last night, the little bastard didn’t sleep until 2am” toddler
by that_guy_from_brizzie November 21, 2017
the only age where your allowed to go to the washroom of the opposite gender and not be seen as a creepy pervert
that toddler was staring at me from the other washroom stall, but its fine! its not like he'll remember...
10 years later... * flashback "so THATS what that thing under her skirt is!"
10 years later... * flashback "so THATS what that thing under her skirt is!"
by meuoof February 9, 2019
Tiny bipolar humans under the age of 3, who can swing rapidly between endearingly cute antics and screaming, kicking, biting fits of rage. Completely unpredictable and often unintelligible lovable little walking blessings/nightmares disguised as tiny human beings with giant heads. Prone to selective hearing and repeating overheard curse words at inopportune moments. More dangerous when traveling in packs. Evolutionarily speaking, it is ridiculous that humans have the ability to reproduce fast enough to be the parent of more than one toddler at a time.
"Do you think you'll have more children?" "Well, even if I survive my two toddlers, FUCK No!" (Did I just say that out loud?) "Chloe, don't repeat that at grandma's!"
by megagogy February 17, 2008
the act of making someone look like a toddler. Most commonly associated with FIFA when one player dribbles another player's defence, or scores a very nice or fancy goal
by Elia Kazad August 28, 2010
your grandpa is a toddler.
by BETTY CROCKER June 26, 2006
Sara: want to see the little snot I pad flesh sock kid I popped out of me?
Average real humans: no Sara *kicks flail meaningless body across the foyer.*
Toddler
Average real humans: no Sara *kicks flail meaningless body across the foyer.*
Toddler
by MJkrazykoolepicgamer May 20, 2021
When a child between the ages of 1-3 is being a complete shit head. Pushing boundaries and throwing fits.
Toddlerism, when will you end?
I'm getting really fed up with this toddlerism.
Toddlerism at its finest.
I'm getting really fed up with this toddlerism.
Toddlerism at its finest.
by Mommyneedsadrink February 25, 2017