the stork

a poor excuse for explaining sex & where babies come from

Jerry: Mommy telled me that babies come fwum the stork

Poppa- Man dats buu shit!!! Where is that lyin' bitch so I can show you how babies really get made??!!

by bojzzle April 17, 2006

The Stork

The act of cunnilingus on a woman who is giving birth or having a miscarriage. The fetus is usually consumed in the process.

I was eating out that pregnant chick from logistics when she unexpectedly went into labor forcing me to perform "The Stork" and swallow the baby whole. He was a boy, and he was delicious.

by Batmaaaaaan October 4, 2008

Calm Before the Stork

(n.) The time during a woman's first pregnancy during which nobody talks about the baby or being pregnant for maybe 2 seconds. This calm, almost eerie silence, usually occurring early in the 3rd trimester, is soon shattered by childbirth and the spirit-crushing, torrential shit storm that follows after.

See Also: That part in "Deep Blue Sea" when people start getting eaten, but Samuel L. Jackson and the rest of the survivors find a minute to collect themselves and make an escape plan, and Samuel L. Jackson is giving a speech about how they have to unite to escape the genetically-mutated, super-intelligent sharks, but then, suddenly, one of the aforementioned genetically-mutated, super-intelligent sharks jumps out of the water and bites him in half.

Though it seemed for the time being that everybody had stopped speculating about his unborn child's future athletic prowess, physical attributes, and the huge amount of responsibility it takes to raise a child, the man was not fooled.

He knew that it was just the calm before the stork.

by Consopite May 21, 2011

butt dialed the stork

A term used for an unexpected pregnancy.

Did you here about Kim she butt dialed the stork.

by The stork dialed May 20, 2018

Ritual of the Stork

When 2 parents love each other very much they seclude themselves in a room (normally a bedroom) and perform it in the Tunnel of Life. If the great stork accepts the ritual then in about 9 months a baby will enter the world through the Tunnel of Life.

You only exist because of the Ritual of the Stork.

by African Fertility God November 4, 2013

Shooting the stork

When one of your friends is in the process of penetrating somebody else with his wee wee, you dive in and flick him in the dick before he ejaculates, causing him to shrink and be unable to hump with meaning anymore.

'Shooting the stork' is the new 'pulling out.'

I got tired of my roommate and his female companion keeping me awake, so I hopped out of bed and shot his stork. She left in about 30 seconds.

by PleaseEatMe March 14, 2010

Calm Before the Stork

(n.) The time during a woman's first pregnancy during which nobody talks about the baby or being pregnant for maybe 2 seconds. This calm, almost eerie silence, usually occurring early in the 3rd trimester, is soon shattered by childbirth and the spirit-crushing, torrential shit storm that follows.

See Also: That part in "Deep Blue Sea" when people start getting eaten, but Samuel L. Jackson and the rest of the survivors find a minute to collect themselves and make an escape plan, and Samuel L. Jackson is giving a speech about how they have to unite to escape the genetically-mutated, super-intelligent sharks, but then, suddenly, one of the aforementioned genetically-mutated, super-intelligent sharks jumps out of the water and bites him in half.

Though it seemed for the time being that everybody had stopped speculating about his unborn child's future athletic prowess, physical attributes, and the huge amount of responsibility it takes to raise a child, the man was not fooled.

He knew that it was just the calm before the stork.

by Consopite June 9, 2011