Squirting the contents of a whipped cream can into your mouth when you are completely alone in your kitchen; often doesn't end until the can is empty
I was just looking for a light snack, but then I ended up doing soccer mom whippits alone in my kitchen at ten thirty in the morning.
by Klitorissa October 31, 2015
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Mom who is willing to have fun even thought she needs to pick up her kids from soccer practice and might even give the coach a blowjob at half time
Parents: where is the coach

Coaches assistant thinking in his head: getting sucked of by that whore soccer mom
by Shhddtigx September 19, 2020
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a guy who likes minivans whos named Tom and who is a good friend that acts like a mom
by allomonami January 13, 2022
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A super woman mom. Stereotyped as a stay-at-home mom who is overprotective of her children. In reality works a difficult job that doesn't pay enough. Then after working all day to pay her kids' phone bills, switches from her work car to her sky blue minivan to run her nightly bus route. She takes her kids and everyone else's to a ton of activities. She volunteers to chaperone and helps in any way possible. Finally she picks everyone up from their activities and takes 30-60 min to drop all of the other kids off. Then she finally gets to take her own kids home. Instead of going to bed or relaxing, she cleans and cooks before finally collapsing on the couch in exhaustion. A few hours later, she gets up and does it all over again. Her weekends are spent in other cities and states sitting through soccer games and tournaments. Hates to ask for help from others, but always ask if others need help.
Soccer moms are amazing!
by MysteriousFlower July 1, 2017
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a middle aged woman that appears happy and satisfied on the outside with her minivan and ivy league kids, but on the inside is deeply supressed and insatiable which comes out in her sex life or lack thereof.
kristina: hey, don't you think becca looks like a sexually frustrated soccer mom?

katie: why yes i do, check out those old lady ballet flats and knee skirt. plus, the gay man on her arm!
by ira. May 11, 2007
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A mother who is usually addicted to strong opiates or methamphetamines she can get legally or illegally. Often soccer moms take the edge off the meds high with booze or cheap domestic beer. Being a mom, most likely with an oblivious husband with a well-paying job, she's usually in possession of a solid grocery-getter/multi-passenger car most likely a white mini-van(the preferred vehicle of a PPSM) so she is able to get several kids to soccer practice after school while she's hopped up on meds.
"A pill-popping soccer mom purchased a set of new tires then proceeded to crash into the tire store trying to test out the new tires doing some high speed donuts in the parking lot. What a fucking stupid bitch! She must be a pill-popping soccer mom!"

"Mom heckled the refs again at our soccer match today. My English teacher yelled at her,"Go home you drunken, pill-popping soccer mom...get help!"

"The meth addict was once #1 in population only to be usurped by the pill-popping soccer mom."
by Dr. Nordoslavic December 5, 2012
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