A religious holy book that is reverenced by Mormons, who are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Written by Joseph Smith, who is alleged to have received an Angelic revelation revealing the location of golden plates of which tell the tale of Christ visiting the American natives shortly after being resurrected. Those who adhere to this religion are known to wear what is described by many as "Holy Underwear". Mormons are forbidden to be referenced by the first name, instead opting for the title of "Elder", or "Sister". As one with half a brain could probably deduce, it is a religion of pure bullshit. Obvious bullshit.
Elder Johnson: Oh, Tom...I think...I just shit my Holy Underwear! What am I going to do?
Elder Richards: Hey, shit for brains...I thought I told you to call me Elder. So you shit your holy drawers? Don't worry. It is Holy Shit now. Damn, that stinks!
Atheist: Hey, don't worry guy! Just tear a few pages out of The Book of Mormon, and use it to wipe your ass. It is basically what it is, an ass-wipe.
Elder Johnson: *scratches chin* You know...I think maybe you are right...
Elder Richards: Hey, shit for brains...I thought I told you to call me Elder. So you shit your holy drawers? Don't worry. It is Holy Shit now. Damn, that stinks!
Atheist: Hey, don't worry guy! Just tear a few pages out of The Book of Mormon, and use it to wipe your ass. It is basically what it is, an ass-wipe.
Elder Johnson: *scratches chin* You know...I think maybe you are right...
by SevereveS December 2, 2010
A book of Holy Scripture and another Testament of Jesus Christ. A companion volume to the Holy Bible. Recounts the spiritual journey of God's people who went to the Americas. Contains the everlasting and full Gospel of Jesus Christ. Recounts Jesus Christ's visit to the Americas after His resurrection.
One of the canonical books of Scripture of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Contains a promise that all who study it and ask in prayer may know of its truth. The pure Word of God.
One of the canonical books of Scripture of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Contains a promise that all who study it and ask in prayer may know of its truth. The pure Word of God.
The Book of Mormon is the most correct of any book on earth, and we can get nearer to God by applying its precepts than by any other book.
by Jay April 19, 2005
The last gospel of the Bible, translated by Joseph Smith and published in 1830.
Is Mormonism of Christianity?
Galatians 1:8 (NIV)
But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned!
Is Mormonism of Christianity?
Galatians 1:8 (NIV)
But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned!
It's pretty black and white.
by moltovivace April 30, 2005
by andyrandytrash March 4, 2021
The definition is based on the Broadway Musical, “The Book of Mormon”
Short for: (person pretending to read Book of Mormon) “And GOD said to Joseph, do not ____ or you will go to Mormon Hell.”
Short for: (person pretending to read Book of Mormon) “And GOD said to Joseph, do not ____ or you will go to Mormon Hell.”
Dude 1: “I’m going to go ass-fuck a baby.”
Dude 2: “In the Book of Mormon, dipshit!!”
Long version of Dude 2, pretending to read the Book of Mormon: “And GOD said to Joseph, do not ass-fuck babies or you will go to Mormon Hell.”
Dude 2: “In the Book of Mormon, dipshit!!”
Long version of Dude 2, pretending to read the Book of Mormon: “And GOD said to Joseph, do not ass-fuck babies or you will go to Mormon Hell.”
by euphemismo June 17, 2011
The Book of Mormon is a musical where two Mormon missionaries get sent to Uganda, Africa to teach the Africans about Mormonism but then Kevin Price (one of the missionaries) meets this sexy other missionary with orange hair and he knows that being gay is against his beliefs but like he’s hot ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and the other missionary (*idk his first name*
Cunningham ) meets this African woman that he falls in love with and baptizes her. Elder Cunningham tries to teach the Africans about Mormonism by lying and using Star Wars references, but when Kevin found out about how Cunningham was lying about the only true part of the Bible he left him; then things backfired on Kevin that night he got sent to spooky Mormon hell in his dream, because of the hell dream Kevin decided to go back to Elder Cunningham and they teamed up. Unluckily a war started between the general and the tribe in Uganda. Kevin and Elder Cunningham are able to convince the general to not start a war with the power of Mormonism. The priests who sent the missionaries there heard about how they baptized everyone in Uganda and went to go see how they did it. They put on a play about the story of Joseph Smith “The American Moses” and it was inaccurate and very offensive to the priests so they where going to send the missionaries back but then the missionaries where like “no❤️“ and then stayed in Uganda! The end.
Cunningham ) meets this African woman that he falls in love with and baptizes her. Elder Cunningham tries to teach the Africans about Mormonism by lying and using Star Wars references, but when Kevin found out about how Cunningham was lying about the only true part of the Bible he left him; then things backfired on Kevin that night he got sent to spooky Mormon hell in his dream, because of the hell dream Kevin decided to go back to Elder Cunningham and they teamed up. Unluckily a war started between the general and the tribe in Uganda. Kevin and Elder Cunningham are able to convince the general to not start a war with the power of Mormonism. The priests who sent the missionaries there heard about how they baptized everyone in Uganda and went to go see how they did it. They put on a play about the story of Joseph Smith “The American Moses” and it was inaccurate and very offensive to the priests so they where going to send the missionaries back but then the missionaries where like “no❤️“ and then stayed in Uganda! The end.
by Elder Cunningham April 19, 2021
A stupid book written by a lying drug addict paedophile called Joseph Smith. Also known as the 'Book of Morons' after the morons who believe in it.
Shit, we've run out of toilet paper. Great, we finally have a use for the Book of Morons. Wipe the shit off your arse with that shit. Start with the chapter that contains the story about Brigham Young giving Joseph Smith a blow job. mormon, book of Mormon was written by a sexual pervert.
by Cynical bloke December 9, 2018