A very very boring city. Once was one of the safest cities in America but now is nowhere even close. A city filled with tweakers and a major Heroine epidemic. All of the high schools are filled with snotty white kids and wannabe thug “skater kids” who are addicted to their juul, and can not go a single class period without a “juul break” in the bathroom. A city with nothing to do so everyone goes to the valley. Every teenager who lives in Simi Valley dreams of leaving Simi Valley for good. In the 60’s there was a nuclear outbreak very close to Simi, and people are still feeling the effects of the radiation fifty years later even though the government doesn’t want to admit it. Lastly, a mall where even an Apple store couldn’t survive because it kept getting robbed, and was getting no business. In short, Simi Valley is a small city filled with druggies, nicotine addicted teens, and conservatives who have nothing to do past six o’clock.
Teen 1: Let’s do something fun tonight!
Teen 2: Are you stupid? We can’t we live in Simi Valley. Let’s just go Juul in the bathroom.
by Shower Handle February 19, 2019
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A place that is ghetto for the rich cities in Ventura county, but nice compared to the San Fernando valley. There is two movie theaters, 4 mcdonald's, 2 burger kings, more pizza places and parks than you can count, a mall, and almost nothing to do after 7pm. It is full of cops who pull you over if your car is dirty because they have nothing better to do, and everybody is a friend with at least one pothead. It is full of plastic people who never leave even though they complain about how boring it is and those who leave almost always come back.
"What can we do tonight in Simi Valley?"
"Nothing. Let's go to the Valley."
by Sagela November 23, 2009
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Simi Valley is NOT small, nor a town, as most defeinitions on here has described it. With a population of over 100,000 people, it hardy fits either category.

Simi Valley is a very safe town with low crime rates. It is a generally Conservative city in a liberal Southern California. Simi Valley has its share of morons, as shown by the people who have added incorrect definitions of their own city.
Idiot: I live in the small town of Simi Valley

Intelligent guy: Small town? What small town has 5 high schools (Simi, Royal, Santa Su, Apllo, Monte Vista), a mall, a town center, a Wall*Mart, and 4 McDonalds?

Idiot: .... I dunno
by Intelligent Simi Guy January 19, 2008
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A place where things end but don't begin. A bubbleworld. A boring place. A place where the marajuiana content of the air is 2%. A shit hole. A place to either go to church or play a sport, or smoke pot till you can get out.
Simi Valley is the place where nothing bad happens, but nothing good happens either.
by Rachellethemuse October 2, 2006
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referring to the location in Southern California of the residence of privelaged white male supremists and teenagers that have nothing better to do than make druggie friends and take it up to pass tthe time away
lets go to the regal, nevermind, that would be so Simi Valley
by melikeshiny February 15, 2005
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A very very small town in California close to Thousand Oaks. Simi Valley is located in Southern California.
She lives in Simi Valley
by Mathura August 20, 2004
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- Meth capitol of the world
- KKK capitol of the US
- Where all the girls are down.
- Filled with Bros and Brohoes
- Their Football team never wins
- School with the most STDs
- Also known as slimy valley
Guy1: Hey, i this girl thinks your hot. You down?
Guy2: Yea for sure. Where she from?
Guy1: ...Simi Valley
Guy2: Awh FUCK THAT.
by cleantofrontsquat December 30, 2010
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