aka: Professor Captain Ricky Red Beard
He travels the eight seas looking for bacon strips he commands a crew of bears and his red beard is complemmented by his brown hair. He uses ninja stars and grenades to defeat his rival Alex Garcia who is the Scourage of the Eighth Sea. His adventure will never end as long as there are bacon strips and Garcia still lives.
"oh shit its captain ricky red beard...
...he's a professor"
n. software that is no longer sold or supported by the original publisher / developer, often found as free downloads on the internet because it cannot be obtained elsewhere. Not legal, but often seen as morally acceptable because the company that made it is no longer selling the title, nor releasing it as freeware, therefore abandonware is "keeping the gamealive", so to speak.
Doom II is not abandonware because idstill sells it, while The Incredible Machine is not sold, therefore is abandonware.
Ruler of Lake Titicaca. Rumored to have a bunghole that gets very angry if it does not receive toilet paper. Cornholio the Great is often seen walking around with his shirt over his head and his hands in the air, chanting songs about his power, and his bunghole.
"I am Cornholio! You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole, for I need TP!"
Butthead: Shut up, Beavis! (uh huh huh huh)
Beavis: Um, okay. (heh heh heh heh).