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gaffa tape and paper bag job 

a woman who has a really gorgeous body but who has a dodgy voice and a minging face so the only way you can bring yourself to fuck her is if you stick gaffa tape (duct tape) over her mouth and a paper bag on her head

Two paper bag job 

A woman so ugly that two paper bags are needed during intimacy, one over her head and one over yours, in case hers falls off.
Mmm... two paper bag job, is she?
Two paper bag job by Lonehelmet January 7, 2011