Masturfarting 

Masturfarting, as opposed to its also popular brother activity, Farturbating, is when one engages in the act of masturbating while they pass gass. The order of these activities is crucial : If you are gassy (i.e. farting) and you elect to masturbate, you are masturfarting. Congratulations.

For disambiguation, see FARTURBATING, and the sister activity, QUEEFURBATING

Ron: "Why does it smell so weird in here?"

Dave: "Sorry, Ron, I was masturfarting. That should explain the smell, and the residue on your sheets."

Masturfarting by FarturBATing September 27, 2010

masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.

i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

masturbating to the dictionary by runninghighkid August 4, 2018

Masturwarding 

To masturbate in school/public places.

Look that kid is masturwarding!

Masturwarding by TheShinRamen December 11, 2012

masturbating

What you're doing when using urban dictionary.

I'm masturbating.

masturbating by ccthz January 27, 2021

furiously masturbating 

A type of masturbating practiced by reclusives who fear that their masturbatory time may be limited.

This is generally not the case, giving furious masterbaters a proclivity to masturbate a lot.

Instead of playing beer pong and sleazing on grimbos, Alex spent the night in his room, furiously masturbating.

furiously masturbating by AXAdartmouth April 16, 2009

Masturdating

Going out alone. I.e. seeing a movie by yourself, going to a restaurant alone.

Dude I saw No Country for Old Men twice by myself. I'm addicted to chronic masturdating

Masturdating by Mikeparsh September 25, 2010

masturbating jungler 

n. a term used for a jungler who does not contest objectives and rarely ganks lanes. If he decides to gank a lane, he ints like there is no tomorrow.

Support: Why is our jungler not contesting dragons?! What a masturbating jungler!

masturbating jungler by bananas107 May 16, 2023