Johnathan Dowe does not exist. He never has existed. If you know of anyone named Johnathan Dowe, please report to your local Anomalous Entity Containment Center and Anomalous Entity Encounter Rehabilitation Facility.
Anomalous Entity #08375: Johnathan Dowe (JD8375)
Rehabilitation Patient #4780931 (R4780931)
Research Intern #37 (RI37)

RI37: "So how did you know JD8375?"
R4780931: "Johnny had been my neighbor for years. We had barbecues, and lite fireworks..."
RI37: "You ingested food provided by JD8375?"
R4780931: "Is that a bad thing?"
SILENCE
R4780931: "What's in this water? It tastes different from... the..."
RI37: "Okay, time to fill that civilian fatality incident report."
by MiserableFuck April 7, 2022
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