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The "John" is a social position within a group often equivalent to the bottom rung of a ladder or the ugliest child in a orphanage.

Requirements needed to fulfil this position include minimal amounts of self-respect, little to no social prowess and mild elements of physical or mental deformity (without crossing into medially recognised deformities).

The "John" is often taunted and fun is made at his expense to please higher-ranked members of social circle.

Despite his low-ranked position a "John" is integral to a group as a means of funnelling hatred and male bonding.

As Socrates famously once said "Without a John society would cease to exist." This comment was followed by a series of childish insults directed at fellow philosopher Johnates.
I hate you. You're such a John.
by Soft to the Ground May 18, 2011
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the best brother in the whole world and has two best friends who annoy him but he loves them both dearly like to play with knives and hurt people he is very confussing and plays with your emotions he is a manwhore!
"sara did john confuse u again?"
"haley must u ask?"
by best friend ever! October 08, 2011
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A guy that is super outgoing and friendly. Everyone knows of him and he keeps very few close friends. He loves to go out and have a good time and loves to be surrounded by his true few. He's very intellegent and doesn't mind sharing his beliefs with you. He really wants a Blue koala for his birthday.
John is soo much fun !! You should've seen him at the club last night !! He was madd HYPE !! I heard he wants to name his koala Blue Ray !! ;D
by PeachessKnows July 14, 2011
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St. Johns College in Cambridge, England. Full of Johnians. Far inferior to anywhere in Oxford.
"Oh, I'd rather be at Oxford than at Johns"
by Viking Adam May 10, 2006
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can be the most beautiful and unreal thing to ever happen to you. He can be the one to show you true love, if only you dared. To those that cant have him, its the most tortureous feeling to recognize his existence. What lies behind those soul staring eyes, only the universe knows.
Person 1-"Ive liked this guy for 3 years now but im too scared to talk to him."
Person 2-"He must be your John."

jon jhon
by kawoline December 27, 2012
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A young male with a surprisingly large head. Someone who constantly watches television and/or games regularly. Someone in "John's," life has him wrapped round him/her's finger.
"That guy John, with the large head, he's never off."
by Baby John November 05, 2011
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