1. Trapped in the closet
2. How can I be a sex goddess when my cat drinks earrings in milk and my child has lost Gilgamesh?
3. "Why don't you ever want anything I give you? You don't appreciate my gifts or my love. I want to make you happy, but you just say you don't need me. Look at this garage, look at all these useful things you could take home. Here's some paint cans, you can have Alberto paint your fence. Or here's a perfectly good plank of wood, great quality wood. Why don't you want this plank of wood? Here, at least take this fish bowl. TAKE IT!
There is a DROOZ living in my house and it throws its undergarments around like confetti.

I found a DROOZ on the street corner and when I took it home, it gave me the names of seven electricians and then talked for ten minutes about how many babies the Spanish pop out.
by Hooker Rodrgiguez October 06, 2006
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