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Count Olaf is the very villainous, extremely evil, appallingly awful, perfectly putrid, terribly turbulent, unbeleivably unpleasant, completely corrupt, repeatedly ruthless, ineffably immoral, openly obnoxious, totally troublesome, wickedly wrong, never-endingly nasty, flagrantly foul, big-headedly bad, cunning count, who is a major character in the 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' books, and is obssessed with obtaining the vast Baudelaire fortune. Despite all of the afore-mentioned descriptions of this devilish-deed-doer, he is surprisingly sexy, as he is an evil genius with a cool tattoo (of an eye on his left ankle for all you who hav not yet been awakened to the world of Lemony Snicket and co.) who always has a scheme up his long, grubby sleeve.
you can pretty much guarantee that any of the dodgy new characters will tun out to be him...
"That's not Stephano, it's COUNT OLAF!"
"That's not Captain Sham, it's COUNT OLAF!"
" That's not Shirley the receptionist, it's COUNT OLAF!"
...yadda yadda yadda
by parlez January 10, 2005
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The first in loco parentis of the unfortunate Baudelaire orphans, Count Olaf is an extremely wicked man who is a corrupt member of VFD. He does many treacherous things to get want he wants; the enormous Baudelaire fortune. He will murder and assassinate anyone to get rich. His former girlfriend in the disgustingly fashionable Esme Squalor. Also, this ghastly actor has a wide variety of disguises and henchmen. His disguises are: Stephani, Captain Sham, Shirley and others. A few of his main henchmen are: The hook-handed man, the two white-powdered women and the person of undetermined gender. Also, Count Olaf is not the most handsome, what ever he says. He has on long eyebrow, dirty clothing and a tattoo of an eye on his left ankle. All in all, Count Olaf is a real dick.
Person 1: you see that guy over there?
Person 2: yea? What about him?
Person 1: he's such a Count Olaf
Person 2: IKR, he's so rude and mean and dumb and annoying and..............
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by VFD Apprentice March 07, 2017
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