A technique of temporarily “saving
face” with colleagues, bosses, customers, and auditors by changing every calendar and clock in a particular workplace in an effort to cover up a missed deadline. “The Calendar Option” is the “Nuclear Option” of
work place fault misdirection. “The Calendar Option” should only be used when the monumental task of changing dozens of calendars, clocks, and watches pales in comparison to actually completing ones assigned task on
time. Hacking of local
computer and cellular networks is usually preferred, as these sources represent the primary ways of determining dates and times. “The Calendar Option” will buy you enough
time to prepare a resume, write a cover page, and apply for other jobs in the timespan prior to your superiors realizing you’ve elegantly gamed them to death. Worried about future employment?
Don’
t! One who can successfully employ “The Calendar Option” is often far under-employed anyway. This fact is clearly demonstrated as the
time, energy, intelligence and sheer skill required to pull off the maneuver could be accomplished by no less than an
American, tier 1, Special Forces operator who is also a Ninja.
Are you
late? Can’t blame a colleague? Can’t blame your
computer? Can’t blame the weather?
Don’t even bother! Just employ “The Calendar Option” and you won’t need to blame a thing because the calendar and clocks say “you’re not late!”
late nuclear option option ninja bad employee blame
