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The coolest town in all of Canada. A place where you can learn to play guitar, go to the library, and buy crystal meth all on one street. The people are rude, the down town is a hole, and the high schools are breeding grounds for sluts. There's only one bookstore and the mall is shit. There are more Tim Hortons than gas stations. The kids are selfish brats, and you can get mugged walking your dog. More people smoke pot here than in Amsterdam. There are five high schools-no one counts tolgate-which are Assumption, BCI, North Park, PJ, and St. John's.

The town has limited night spots, and these spots are trashy dumps. But still, Brantford is the coolest place in Canada. You have to live here to get it.
Person One: Give me your money.

Person Two: Are you from Brantford?

Person One: How did you know?

Person Two: Because you're jumping me....and you're a vodka obsessed crystal meth loving ford planter slut.

Person One: You are correct. Good day.
by MistakeMeForASucker June 05, 2009
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Small city in Ontario, Canada, in which all citizens do drugs, most teen girls are pregnant, and if you do not park your car in a maximum security garage with laser automated shotguns and target intelligent missiles and 3 professional veteran snipers camping out your house 24 hours a day, your vehicle will get stolen.
Brantford: You to random person: Hey man u know where i can get some pot?
Random person: *gives you the number to 15 drug dealers* Those are the best in town. if none of them answer you/text you back heres a few more *gives you a phone book*
by The Stoner Adventure May 15, 2015
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City in Southern Ontario, known for it's high ratio of Crime to Population. This is largely due to a lack of employment, restless youth, crack addiction, and a lazy police force.

It holds (or at one time held) the record for Car Theft Capital of Canada (per capita, after the prarie provinces cracked down on their rampant car jackings), Highest Teen Pregnancy rate in Ontario, Highest crime rate in Canada per capita, and "Best blooming city" for it's flower displays (in which you can often find old burned spoons and needles)
I live in Brantford, and I'm a degenerate hoodlum myself
by Johnny Malvado March 17, 2011
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A shitty town that likes to support it's drug dealers, taunt authority figures, and has such a shitty downtown they filmed Silent Hill there. It's also common to get robbed.
Everybody in Brantford smokes crizack
by Jerk Jerk January 13, 2006
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Brantford is A town in Ontario Canada where all the girls are sluts and all the guys are hockey playing fuckbois who walk around shouting ferda all day. Almost all the teens do drugs and half of them drop out of school before grade 11. Still has the highest teen pregnancy rate in all of Ontario and also the highest car theft rate. Most girls are bitches who just act like sluty to sleep with guys you can also get heroine on any street corner and the down town is nasty and homeless people pull knifes on you but hey we have Wayne Gretzky so fuck all of you
Do you like in brantford
Ya man it’s fucked I’m 11 and have 2 kids
by Mickey Dickey October 29, 2017
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