The bass trombone is a weapon of mass destruction that is notable for its ability to destroy entire planets with sheer volume. Banned internationally by the Geneva Convention, it continues to see use via a technicality allowing it to be used as a "musical instrument". As such, musical ensembles who wish to thin out their audiences or viola sections will hire a bass trombonist (one who plays the bass trombone).
For a brief period, NASA used bass trombones to test spacecraft components' resilience under extreme conditions, but quickly found that the valuable components (along with the surrounding area) would never survive more than a few seconds.

Valerie: Why are you wearing full body armor to an orchestra concert, Terence?
Terence: I want to be ready for when the concert hall collapses after the bass trombone's fortissimo passage.
by Driving Park December 18, 2014
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A development of the trombone which its self was a present from god to the rest of the world. This glorious instrument is often mocked for having all the suttelty of a sledge hammer and the dynamic range of a chainsaw. This is grossly unfair as when played properly this instrument is comparable to none other. In a band situation the Bass Trombonist is often referred to as the 3rd Trombonist. If this does not cease to continue then the Bass Trombone faternity will rise against the world.
1. All BASS TROMBONISTS are gifts from God himself.
2. I wish I was intelligent enough to play the BASS TROMBONE
by Paul Jackson April 6, 2006
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1. The Worst Instrument in Band
2. To describe someone that is stupid
Your like a Bass Trombone
by CrazyMan6136 September 12, 2022
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A group of quasi-retarded geniuses who inherit the younger generation of bass trombonists that have begun to attend the school where the older bass trombone generation currently resides. They are classified in the same way normal families are. I.e. son, father, grandson, grandfather, great grandson, Great Grand Father.
"The bass trombone family here are all retarded geniuses!"
"The best Studio here is the bass trombone families studio!"
"The new kid is coming next semester, son. Your going to be a dadddy and i'll be a grandpappy!"
by Bassminusb May 2, 2007
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