Like the great Shaolin Monks of the majestic Tibetan Monasteries, fap aficionados must go through incredible amounts of training and meditation to achieve seminal enlightenment.
Now, there are two key words that all fap aficionados must know: speed and endurance.
The average joe will often finish masturbating in 9-15 minutes, as studies show. However, a fap aficionado will be able to blow these times out of the water with a staggering 45 seconds-2 minutes (and that takes dedication!).
To be able to go so hard, the fap aficionado must learn how to endure the pain and sheer intensity of the “2-minute quickie”, as this is a very hard thing to do. One must exercise their hand muscles to the point of being able to crush an unripe walnut with one singular hand.
But this is not all, young child, the fap aficionado must also know how to do the fap and piss maneuver. This specific technique takes ages to master, and can cause the “doer” of the task extreme pain, or even nut shut.
With these skills and traits combined, anyone who has a penis can master their shaft and become one of the greats.
Now, there are two key words that all fap aficionados must know: speed and endurance.
The average joe will often finish masturbating in 9-15 minutes, as studies show. However, a fap aficionado will be able to blow these times out of the water with a staggering 45 seconds-2 minutes (and that takes dedication!).
To be able to go so hard, the fap aficionado must learn how to endure the pain and sheer intensity of the “2-minute quickie”, as this is a very hard thing to do. One must exercise their hand muscles to the point of being able to crush an unripe walnut with one singular hand.
But this is not all, young child, the fap aficionado must also know how to do the fap and piss maneuver. This specific technique takes ages to master, and can cause the “doer” of the task extreme pain, or even nut shut.
With these skills and traits combined, anyone who has a penis can master their shaft and become one of the greats.
Marv: Bro, you’ll never get done in time, the teacher’s gonna ask where you are!
Billy: Relax Marvin, I’m a fap aficionado, I can handle this.
Billy: Relax Marvin, I’m a fap aficionado, I can handle this.
by THE_00F_MAN November 18, 2019
A foot aficionado is the most discerning type of foot fetishists. While a foot fetishist likes many types of feet from cheesy to ashy, the afficinado has an affinity for a specific type of foot, usually older, pampered, Italian, mom feet.
Dude, While you were looking for bikini bottoms to sniff in the bathroom, I fell in love with the sight of that Mom’s perfect feet. Her toe cleavage in that sandal was better than ass crack to me. You know, nothing creepy though.
Ginger Bro: You’re a foot aficionado. That’s sick. Get help.
Ginger Bro: You’re a foot aficionado. That’s sick. Get help.
by P-Biddy March 17, 2019
A woman who loves abuse and will typically gravitate to the most abusive male she can find, e.g. roided up MMA fighters, guys in the marines, etc.
Picked up a broad who's guy was over-seas at the bar last night, she was a real dodgeball aficionado.
by profundityy September 26, 2009
Noun, usually a person. A person who shares news articles on social media about car accidents, drownings, house fires, weather- and other natural-disasters for the purpose of looking like you care about the victims. Also seen as an opportunity to offer thoughts and prayers in place of real support or help for the victims.
My friend posts daily articles about car accidents and house fires in her town, but she hasn't donated jack to help the victims. She's a total tragedy porn aficionado.
If I have to read another Facebook post from a tragedy porn aficionado offering thoughts and prayers instead of actual help for the victims, I'm going to scream.
If I have to read another Facebook post from a tragedy porn aficionado offering thoughts and prayers instead of actual help for the victims, I'm going to scream.
by Notasue September 19, 2017
Not a real disease able to be diagnosed, DAS (Delusional Aficionado Syndrome) is a sophisticated medical slang term used to describe the state of mind of wanting to only speak well about something or someone a person is suddenly or has been obsessed with for a long time.
For example, in the case of a musician, the aficionado might hear one song he becomes entirely enamored with it and slips into a state of thinking that this artist is the best to have ever existed. The aficionado will then deal with this state of new found love by purchasing all the albums by the artist and recommending them to everyone he knows. In its highest severity, the afflicted aficionado will constantly talk about the artist and/or song even to the point of trespassing into other people’s conversations in order to spread the word about the music. The aficionado will become enraged (rarely to the point of violence) if he hears someone else say anything negative about his idol. If any negative telecasts enter the television/radio airwaves or the internet concerning the musician (especially his death), the aficionado will enter a massive state of denial.
The aficionado may or may not be aware of his DAS. It depends on the severity of the delusional behavior.
References:
"This Bloke, Right Here." (A pseudonym for the person who first coined the term while giving a review of the Exodus album by Utada Hikaru on the first of February in 2010.)
For example, in the case of a musician, the aficionado might hear one song he becomes entirely enamored with it and slips into a state of thinking that this artist is the best to have ever existed. The aficionado will then deal with this state of new found love by purchasing all the albums by the artist and recommending them to everyone he knows. In its highest severity, the afflicted aficionado will constantly talk about the artist and/or song even to the point of trespassing into other people’s conversations in order to spread the word about the music. The aficionado will become enraged (rarely to the point of violence) if he hears someone else say anything negative about his idol. If any negative telecasts enter the television/radio airwaves or the internet concerning the musician (especially his death), the aficionado will enter a massive state of denial.
The aficionado may or may not be aware of his DAS. It depends on the severity of the delusional behavior.
References:
"This Bloke, Right Here." (A pseudonym for the person who first coined the term while giving a review of the Exodus album by Utada Hikaru on the first of February in 2010.)
This Bloke, Right Here: "I do not have Delusional Aficionado Syndrome. This album truly deserves five stars out of five!"
by IareWHITE February 2, 2010
by Kingunderworld March 8, 2018
This can be described at a trio of podcast and YouTubers who think they know everything and in theory and in reality they do.
by Carsigliere September 26, 2021