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ASSTUB

A Kate-ism for the size serving of ice cream necessitated by a break up from any ASSTARD or fucktard. FLAVORS include "You Deserve Better" and "College Boyfriend THAT ASS" as well as "Let's Just Be Friends" and "Drakkar Noir." The ASSTUB serving is equivalent to the amount of suffering said ASSHAT has inflicted. Any way you slice it, it's gonna be big.
"Wow, I can't believe I dated that douchetard. I'm going to need to dive into an ASSTUB of ice cream..."
by Mittens Was Here September 15, 2013
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asstune

fart, buttgas, flatulence, methane melody, ripper, browncloud, poof - also variable for the name Austin.
Sammy smiled and ripped a short but vile asstune as he left the room to go feed the cats.
by Diogio Rome January 9, 2009
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assturbation

To pleasure the anal cavity of oneself with the intent of sexual gratification.
I really wanted to go down on her last night, but when I got home she was in the middle of an assturbation session to the new Justin Timberlake video.
by decamel August 28, 2013
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Assturbate

To bring oneself to orgasm by various acts of anal-simulation.
Vanilla masturbation doesn't work for me anymore, now the only way I can cum is if I assturbate.
by Tenshin_ April 7, 2016
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Assturbation

Masturbation focused on pleasuring the butt, whether it be by massage or insertion.
Wow, this banana is frozen rock solid. I'm gonna have a good assturbation session tonight!
by Twiggins Q. Neugebauer June 20, 2011
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assturbation

Masturbation restricted to the ass region. Usually performed by placing dildos, buttplugs, fingers, toothbrushes, or whatever else may be handy into the anal cavity. Lube is optional but highly recommended.
Suzy had never considered assturbation until she overheard Julie talking to Maria about shoving a 9 inch vibrator up her ass while fantasizing about Tom (Suzys dad).
by mindrape November 16, 2005
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Asstunnel

A person or entity that is full of shit. An ignorant self righteous moron.

Originates from the bittorrent index site Meganova in response to a Cease and Desist letter received from MediaDefender following a leak of confidential internal e-mails.
Dearest little asstunnels,

Let me start of by thanking you for your pitiful attempt to have your emails removed from the entire internet (the thing that says www.). In no way we feel obligated to fulfill your request, as a matter of fact any organization that tries to harm this site and the bittorrent user in general can expect nothing more from us but a big fuck you!

In case you haven't noticed, this site is located in Europe (I hope you can point it out on a map) where your stupid copyright claims have no base. But fair is fair you guys did suffer over the past week so here's bit of advice to you guys:

* Fuck you!
* Fuck you again!
* Fuck you again and again and again!
* Fuck you again and again and again && again!

There is no way you can stop this, your emails have been published on more then a centillion websites. And if there is anyone who is going to start a lawsuit it will be us suing you for attempts to sabotage the integrity of this site and many others.

Have a very nice day,

Markus
by b0n9 October 3, 2007
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