Douche Puffette

A grotesquely overweight narcissistic amazon woman who believes the world revolves around her, her bad credit, and her inability to control her intake of alcohol. Often reads by flashlight while explaining how your problems relate to her life.

After listening to that douche puffette talk about sobriety I'm totally ready to slam fireball and suck the glass dick.

by OG Bobby Hill November 23, 2019

Dick-douche

A conceited asshole.

My dick-douche baby daddy couldn't buy diapers but he could bail his homie out of jail with $2000.

by 20blitz00 May 20, 2016

Texas Douche

When your turd hits the water in the toilet so hard it backsplashes all over your ass.

"You're such a Texas Douche...no better than an ass covered in shit water."

by Cabaluchi February 20, 2020

Douche-baggage

Noun
The children, psycho baby mamas, ex-girlfriends, criminal records or other problems that come with dating a douche bag.

"it didn't work out with Ronnie, he had two kids With two different women, that's way too much douche-baggage to deal with."

by Not so shorty August 25, 2012

Phone-douche

Person who talks loudly on phone around a captive audience (i.e. In an elevator, a train, dorm room, or other group setting) and says ignorant, obnoxious, or simply TMI kinds of things.

In a dorm, late at night:
Your room-mate on the phone: "Don't worry dude, you didn't know you had (horrendous STD) before you started dating her, if she breaks up with you over that, she's just not the one."

You text your friend: "My room-mate is a total Phone-douche!"
All the while you cover your ears under your blanket imagining smashing his phone/asking God what you did to deserve this.

by sprstix409 January 28, 2012

douche leash

The leashes worn on the sunglasses of a frat boy or douche bag. Commonly complemented by above-the-knee plaid shorts, a polo shirt that is too small, and sandals or boat shoes - frat gear. The doucheness is compounded when worn at night.

It's 10 o'clock at night and that frat boy is sporting sunglasses with a neon green douche leash.

by trinalise November 26, 2011

douche roar

The loud scream emanating from an alpha male douchebag while lifting weights. This is done for the sole purpose of attracting attention and hopefully impressing those around him with his strength and commitment to large biceps.

Jim let out a piercing douche roar at the end of his 10th set of bicep curls.

by rimlover October 22, 2011