a sexual act generally performed between a man, a woman, and any non-consenting animal. though generally considered a fetish, "canada's history" is gradually entering the mainstream.
using moose antlers, maple syrup and the stanley cup as pleasure enhancers, the act begins when the man dips his cock into the maple syrup. though one might think this will be licked off by the woman, it is in fact going to be used as lubrication for anal penetration.
the woman bends over a table, and the man places the moose antlers on the woman's lower back, just above her hips. the antlers then represent an actual, physical, version of a "tramp stamp."
the man slides his maple syrup ensconced cock into the woman's anus, and the two begin a rhythmic give and take; him thrusting, her receiving. this continues until climax, where the man deposits his cum deep inside her bowels.
after squeezing out every last drop of semen, the man removes his cock and grabs the stanley cup. the woman squats over the stanley cup and shits out the frothy mix of santorum and maple syrup into it.
hockey sucks.
(the animal involved simply watches the two humans in disgust. what, did you think it was involved? pervert.)
using moose antlers, maple syrup and the stanley cup as pleasure enhancers, the act begins when the man dips his cock into the maple syrup. though one might think this will be licked off by the woman, it is in fact going to be used as lubrication for anal penetration.
the woman bends over a table, and the man places the moose antlers on the woman's lower back, just above her hips. the antlers then represent an actual, physical, version of a "tramp stamp."
the man slides his maple syrup ensconced cock into the woman's anus, and the two begin a rhythmic give and take; him thrusting, her receiving. this continues until climax, where the man deposits his cum deep inside her bowels.
after squeezing out every last drop of semen, the man removes his cock and grabs the stanley cup. the woman squats over the stanley cup and shits out the frothy mix of santorum and maple syrup into it.
hockey sucks.
(the animal involved simply watches the two humans in disgust. what, did you think it was involved? pervert.)
"stephen colbert gave sarah palin a healthy canada's history the other day. i heard he needed viagra to get hard, given that she's so fucking unappealing."
by brian q. waterman February 5, 2010
Get the canada's history mug.A drug and booze filled part of Canada, mostly filled with arrogant people who consider them selves important to Canada. People in Western Canada complain about the East Coast of Canada, because the East Coast knows how to relax and have a good time, which puts a damper on people wanting to actually visit the West. Western Canada is filled with worthless Statues such as the worlds biggest perogie, dinosaur and beaver... in hopes to attract business to there towns. Western Canada also continues to pollute and kill our animals so that they can keep there precious oil sands.
Maritimer: What do you do for a living.
Arrogant Westerner: I work high up in an oil firm, how about you, suppose you fish, but are on unemployment right now.
Maritimer: Well actually I'm a CEO for the Scotia Bank in Halifax.
Western Canada: Arrogant, Alcoholic, Drug user, Unhappy, Thinks he/ she is important, hick, waste of space.
Arrogant Westerner: I work high up in an oil firm, how about you, suppose you fish, but are on unemployment right now.
Maritimer: Well actually I'm a CEO for the Scotia Bank in Halifax.
Western Canada: Arrogant, Alcoholic, Drug user, Unhappy, Thinks he/ she is important, hick, waste of space.
by Edmontonian321 January 24, 2011
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Carnada
• Canada's History
• Canada
• canada dry
• Canada Day
• Canada Goose
• Canadaphile
• Canadans
• canadaboo
• Canadaddy
The big place above the U.S. that people call a country even though we all know its just a big state.
by G-Fizzle April 17, 2007
Get the Canada mug.A sexual act when you shave a woman's genitals then glue her pubic hair to your upper lip only to twist it into a Snidely Whiplash style mustache. You then proceed to tie her to the bed then stand by the bed side laughing mechanically as a line of men run a train on her (having sex with her one after another). Each man pulls out and ejaculates on her stomach until her entire torso is covered in semen. She is then left tied up over night until the semen dries and becomes flaky.
The entire hockey team taught her a bit about Canada's History and come morning she was glazed like a bear claw.
by BeaverDam February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's History mug.An act, sexual in nature, that requires the use of day old poutine gravy as a lubricant for your 3rd puck-bunny of the evening - who is also know as a hat trick.
"Hey, you guys using that poutine? 'Cause I could use a little Canada's History for when I go 5 hole on Marcy."
by Keepin' it Louis Riel February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's History mug.The most depraved sexual act in human history.
During the crossing of the great Land Bridge from modern-day Siberia to Canada, man's brain was relatively undeveloped; as a result, his nerves were also undeveloped, especially involving sexual titillation. Getting a man to climax took extreme feats.
Fossils have been found of a grown man having entered a woman from the vagina with most of his lower body, having pierced her left and right armpits with mammoth tusks and using that, it seems, as leverage to move in every direction inside of her. Judging by the proximity to where the fossils were found, it seems that the woman was ritualistically waterboarded as well, perhaps to make her body convulse and writhe in order to arouse the male.
There is also evidence of using some sort of sticky substance, perhaps syrup, instead of lubrication, in order to add friction to the penetration.
Most intriguing, however, is the recent find of what appears to be a sacrificial bowl on top of a pillar, which closely resembles the modern day Stanley Cup. Judging by the premature bones found in the bowl, it appears that, in cases of extreme inability to reach climax, the male would perform the above sexual act on an infant so that there was more control over movement. When the act was finished, the semen was harvested and implanted into a mature female using moose antlers, and the infant was nursed back to health using syrup, which was the ancient's version of Advil, KY, and Elmer's.
During the crossing of the great Land Bridge from modern-day Siberia to Canada, man's brain was relatively undeveloped; as a result, his nerves were also undeveloped, especially involving sexual titillation. Getting a man to climax took extreme feats.
Fossils have been found of a grown man having entered a woman from the vagina with most of his lower body, having pierced her left and right armpits with mammoth tusks and using that, it seems, as leverage to move in every direction inside of her. Judging by the proximity to where the fossils were found, it seems that the woman was ritualistically waterboarded as well, perhaps to make her body convulse and writhe in order to arouse the male.
There is also evidence of using some sort of sticky substance, perhaps syrup, instead of lubrication, in order to add friction to the penetration.
Most intriguing, however, is the recent find of what appears to be a sacrificial bowl on top of a pillar, which closely resembles the modern day Stanley Cup. Judging by the premature bones found in the bowl, it appears that, in cases of extreme inability to reach climax, the male would perform the above sexual act on an infant so that there was more control over movement. When the act was finished, the semen was harvested and implanted into a mature female using moose antlers, and the infant was nursed back to health using syrup, which was the ancient's version of Advil, KY, and Elmer's.
"Mrs. Shepard, your husband's mind has been warped by his cruel sexual abuse as a child: it seems as though he will respond to nothing short of a Canada's History. I'm sorry. I can give you the number of an excellent divorce lawyer."
by dopplegang February 9, 2010
Get the Canada's History mug.by Rory O'Boyle November 22, 2007
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