Curdle Turtle

The state of vulnerability after a man nuts on his stomach and doesn’t have a rag on hand.

My mom walked into my room and caught me in a curdle turtle

by nigganaut June 9, 2020

myrtle's turtle

A term used to describe a drunk man shitfaced off of moonshine with a puckered face, rosy cheeks and assless chaps who is about to pass out in an alley behind a hotel next to some dumpsters. He can neither stand nor sit so he squats until he gradually falls backward onto his ass in a rolling fashion teetering to and fro on his back before finally passing out (urban dictionary, 2017)

That kid looks like myrtle's turtle, careful, they bite

by Mr. Polo to you April 19, 2017

Nested Turtle

1. When the head of the pecker protrudes into the shaft creating a image like a turtles head hiding in its shell.

“As the winter began in pecker town, all the men started to feel a strange sensation. Owen asked why his weiner appeared to look like a turtle hiding in his shell. Vagman, (the man with the 12 inch shlong) Shouted, Hahahaha you have a nice nested turtle going.”

by CammyAlva June 24, 2018

Turtle Belt

An elastic band (or other improvised object) used to close off the end of an uncircumcised penis at the point of ejaculation in order to quickly and cleanly move from your location.

I had to grab a turtle belt and run to the bathroom so I didn't stain the new couch.

by Redh00d4 May 3, 2018

Turtle Parade

A non trivial sized line of men at Bathroom or Portable toilet that seemingly all need to poop urgently

I was at the football game and there was a massive Turtle Parade because there was only 1 porta jon.

by Mr. Pix September 21, 2018

Turtle Head

When you get home after a long day needing to take a gargantuan shit and so you run to the toilet and knock over your kid in the hallway and slam the bathroom door shut and wait for that sweet sweet moment when you gloriously defecate all over the bathroom but instead end up straining your asscheeks for an hour only for a tiny ass piece of shit to slightly poke its way out of your asshole. That piece of shit is called a turtle head and know you have to choose to behead your turtle either by straining your asscheeks closed or pulling the piece of shit out with your fingers and now your hand smells of ass and your kid is crying in the hallway and you still have to make dinner and oh fuck why am I still alive

Mom: Jimothy, alight from your dwelling in order to receive nutrition handcrafted by your own mother.
Jimothy, tearfully: Mother, how I wish to fulfill that which you have requested of me! But alas, I am unable to, for I am stuck in the predicament of having to deal with a Turtle Head!
Mother, wailing: Jimothy, my dear beloved son! How I weep for you! How I mourn! That you should have to deal with such an ordeal! I am so deeply sorry, but alas, am unable to help.

by BaddSpelur October 31, 2019

Turtle kid

A turtle kid is a kid who is super chill but has a crackhead sense of humor and has a bad obsession with their turtle and probably something else. Overall, a good friend to have, just don't get them on the topic of turtles or they'll never shut the hell up.

Person one: hey did you see Jerry over there, does he always stare at his turtle lovingly like that?
Person two: Yeah, Jerry is such a turtle kid

by mizukei November 27, 2020