Garden turtle

A bloke who sucks himself off watching wetsuits dry on the clothesline

Get out of here Blake you dirty garden turtle!!!!

by Uncy Joe April 18, 2018

Jon's Turtle

Jon's everything. Mom, dad, sister, dog, best friend, EVERYTHING. Not to be confused with Jon's tortoise

Person: "Hey Jon, how's your Jon's turtle"
Jon: "o_o"

by Aly and Vyacheslav October 29, 2012

Turtle kid

A turtle kid is a kid who is super chill but has a crackhead sense of humor and has a bad obsession with their turtle and probably something else. Overall, a good friend to have, just don't get them on the topic of turtles or they'll never shut the hell up.

Person one: hey did you see Jerry over there, does he always stare at his turtle lovingly like that?
Person two: Yeah, Jerry is such a turtle kid

by mizukei November 27, 2020

Turtle porn

A guy bad at sex

Mickey: " how is Tyler's dick game?"

Heaven:"It's like turtle porn, slow and boring"

by Grumpup March 23, 2017

Turtle Todd

A professional driver,usually much slower than the others. Reaching a height of of 5 foot, most sit on a phone book or booster chair while driving. Known for leaving some of their loads on highways & interstates as a way to find there way back. Very competitive although always loses. Always wanting to be employee of the month but only ever achieving runner-up.

Look at Turtle Todd he thinks he's going to win

by Hjm1979 June 24, 2021

turtle dust

When you go to the restroom and you feel like you have to let one go and it feels like a turtle head sticking out and its really just dust.

Man I went to bathroom thinking I was going to have a good one and it turned out to be turtle dust.

by Bill Joe77 January 16, 2017

turtle hug

being back to back with someone and locking arms as one person lifts the other into the air as the turtle standing and the shell in the air

"i walked up to a random person at the intersection and gave them a turtle hug" Dante said to Phillip as they were walking down the street

by fredslayer99 November 4, 2016