Urinal Turtle

yoo r-uh-nl ter-dl

1.(noun) When someone takes a dump in a urinal {original definition}.
2.(noun) An unusually small turtle that swims through the sewer and out of the urinal {additional}.
3.(verb) To shove an acquaintance's face into the urinal cake {additional}

1. I had to take a leak so badly but when I got in there I saw someone had dropped a urinal turtle.
2. My grandpa freaked out when he discovered a urinal turtle whilst relieving himself.
3. I lost a friend today when I urinal turtled him right before his big performance in front of the crowd.

by walkerslaw69696969 December 1, 2017

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Turtle Parade

A non trivial sized line of men at Bathroom or Portable toilet that seemingly all need to poop urgently

I was at the football game and there was a massive Turtle Parade because there was only 1 porta jon.

by Mr. Pix September 21, 2018

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Turtle Belt

An elastic band (or other improvised object) used to close off the end of an uncircumcised penis at the point of ejaculation in order to quickly and cleanly move from your location.

I had to grab a turtle belt and run to the bathroom so I didn't stain the new couch.

by Redh00d4 May 3, 2018

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Turtle Head

When you get home after a long day needing to take a gargantuan shit and so you run to the toilet and knock over your kid in the hallway and slam the bathroom door shut and wait for that sweet sweet moment when you gloriously defecate all over the bathroom but instead end up straining your asscheeks for an hour only for a tiny ass piece of shit to slightly poke its way out of your asshole. That piece of shit is called a turtle head and know you have to choose to behead your turtle either by straining your asscheeks closed or pulling the piece of shit out with your fingers and now your hand smells of ass and your kid is crying in the hallway and you still have to make dinner and oh fuck why am I still alive

Mom: Jimothy, alight from your dwelling in order to receive nutrition handcrafted by your own mother.
Jimothy, tearfully: Mother, how I wish to fulfill that which you have requested of me! But alas, I am unable to, for I am stuck in the predicament of having to deal with a Turtle Head!
Mother, wailing: Jimothy, my dear beloved son! How I weep for you! How I mourn! That you should have to deal with such an ordeal! I am so deeply sorry, but alas, am unable to help.

by BaddSpelur October 31, 2019

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The turtles breath

The fart that precedes the sudden urge to shit, as the head of the shit momentarily emerges, before being drawn back into the anus. Much like when a turtle pokes its head above the water to breathe

'Did you just fart Stui?' That wasn't a fart mate, that was the turtles breath.... Gotta go!'

by Fabio Baracuda June 19, 2016

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