Jon is a man of great substance, and a teller of tales. Jon would sit on his porch surrounded by the vagrants of the world, telling tales of small butt plugs he maneuvered and McGuyvered in times of need; tales of the seedy underbelly of dildo factories, and tales on how to get a free hamburger on a Tuesday, to name a few.
Men were jealous of Jon and women wanted him. They longed for Jon to satisfy them orally as Jon was known as the king of oral pleasure. When Jon performed oral on the lucky women… the geyser like wetness could be heard and seen for miles around.
Unsuspecting people would feel drops of fluid dripping down upon them when on evening walks and while grilling burgers in backyards.
In addition to the wetness felt blocks away, one could hear a ‘pop’ sound that can only be described as a wet hard hammer hitting a nail.
The women Jon performed oral on were sent away after having been serviced. They were never the same. They spent the rest of their lives searching….. searching …. For that feeling again; feeling of explosive intense pleasure.
Women would bring sandwiches to Jon and his dog a Charlie but to no avail.
Jon would accept their sandwiches and then send them on their way.
On warm days one can still smell the deli meat and the despair of the women Jon had turned away time and time again.
Men were jealous of Jon and women wanted him. They longed for Jon to satisfy them orally as Jon was known as the king of oral pleasure. When Jon performed oral on the lucky women… the geyser like wetness could be heard and seen for miles around.
Unsuspecting people would feel drops of fluid dripping down upon them when on evening walks and while grilling burgers in backyards.
In addition to the wetness felt blocks away, one could hear a ‘pop’ sound that can only be described as a wet hard hammer hitting a nail.
The women Jon performed oral on were sent away after having been serviced. They were never the same. They spent the rest of their lives searching….. searching …. For that feeling again; feeling of explosive intense pleasure.
Women would bring sandwiches to Jon and his dog a Charlie but to no avail.
Jon would accept their sandwiches and then send them on their way.
On warm days one can still smell the deli meat and the despair of the women Jon had turned away time and time again.
Jon was performing oral on a cross-eyed woman who could see straight immediately after reaching peak ecstasy.
by Frodo Hoofenstein March 18, 2024
Get the Jon mug.there are not enough words to describe this man, so i’ll just pick 2 descriptors.
1. NBA basketball player
2. PGA golfer
1. NBA basketball player
2. PGA golfer
by animeslayer593 October 12, 2023
Get the jon noll mug.A man who has saved everyone from the depths of despair. He serenades you as you sleep, and smiles while you wake. God has gifted this man to us. Let us bow our heads in prayer.
by Greg Heffley the real one March 8, 2022
Get the Jon Seccombe mug.
1.When you push too hard exporting whoppers and your hemorrhoid bunch splashs in the cold unforgiving depths.
2. When you’re planting a fence post and your chili ring becomes one with the surface of the water.
3. When you’re dropping a full house off at the pool, and an Ace slips outve your hole.
4. During the exportation of a Pringles can, you push so hard you divorce your gooch.
5. Sometimes mistaken for the sexual act of Jon Straining which is when you’re balls deep in your boy jon and he sneezes and almost cuts your Dick off with his turd cutter.
2. When you’re planting a fence post and your chili ring becomes one with the surface of the water.
3. When you’re dropping a full house off at the pool, and an Ace slips outve your hole.
4. During the exportation of a Pringles can, you push so hard you divorce your gooch.
5. Sometimes mistaken for the sexual act of Jon Straining which is when you’re balls deep in your boy jon and he sneezes and almost cuts your Dick off with his turd cutter.
Bro: ahhh man dude… I had dump truck nachos last night and right in the middle of getting after some beav and I spent the night strain’n on the Jon.
Bromigo: sorry man, when’s the funeral for your taint?
Bromigo: sorry man, when’s the funeral for your taint?
by Cody Bustaloady July 30, 2021
Get the Strain’n on the Jon mug.Jon and everyone else would like you to stop posting your cringe ass name definition that was written by some ego maniac with the same name as you
Jon
by yonnyoy November 23, 2021
Get the Jon mug.Yet another wikinazi from Jimmy Wales. Turns Internet into China by banning nearly all VPNs where he can. Has reason to hide themselves from journalists, police, and INTERPOL.
I know Jon Kolbert - said no one.
I trust Jon Kolbert - said no one.
Jon Kolbert is a cool guy - said no one.
I trust Jon Kolbert - said no one.
Jon Kolbert is a cool guy - said no one.
by Barkingdog August 11, 2024
Get the Jon Kolbert mug.