Homosexual Turtle

A college-aged, Caucasian male individual with an overtly long neck and deep-throating skills made for sucking dick. He has yet to come out of his shell completely.

Taylor: You should go out with Blake M...
Me: I can’t, you know he’s a Homosexual Turtle!

by Trumpette.xxx May 6, 2021

Jon's Turtle

Jon's everything. Mom, dad, sister, dog, best friend, EVERYTHING. Not to be confused with Jon's tortoise

Person: "Hey Jon, how's your Jon's turtle"
Jon: "o_o"

by Aly and Vyacheslav October 29, 2012

Turtle porn

A guy bad at sex

Mickey: " how is Tyler's dick game?"

Heaven:"It's like turtle porn, slow and boring"

by Grumpup March 23, 2017

Turtle Todd

A professional driver,usually much slower than the others. Reaching a height of of 5 foot, most sit on a phone book or booster chair while driving. Known for leaving some of their loads on highways & interstates as a way to find there way back. Very competitive although always loses. Always wanting to be employee of the month but only ever achieving runner-up.

Look at Turtle Todd he thinks he's going to win

by Hjm1979 June 24, 2021

turtle dust

When you go to the restroom and you feel like you have to let one go and it feels like a turtle head sticking out and its really just dust.

Man I went to bathroom thinking I was going to have a good one and it turned out to be turtle dust.

by Bill Joe77 January 16, 2017

The Turtle's Kiss

When a man manufactures a dump so perfect that as it glides over his prostate it causes mild to moderate sexual release.

Bill: "Hey Steve. I did a huge dump this morning which was so perfect that I almost had a orgasm"
Steve: "ah, I see you have experienced the majesty of The Turtle's Kiss"

by Souper Rare April 28, 2022

Turtle Boobie

Synonym for idiot; stupid

Did you see that? He is such a turtle boobie!

by parrots and ponies March 12, 2021