first post

<Only applicable if the text "first post" (Or similar spellings) is actually in the first post of any given forum, topic, video comments section etc.>
"First post" is most often used to describe ones "ownage" over all other posters that plan on making a comment.
I.E. "I was here first" "I am better than you" etc.
Its childish to most but to those who would hopefully be "First poster", seeing your "first post" stolen can mean a tragic loss emotionally, often accompanied by feelings of hopelessness, failure, despair and in extreme cases, suicide.

First post!
omg first post you all fail.
Wow, nice topic blah blah blah... FIRST POST!
Technically I just got "first post" on the "first post" definition >.>

by Midian01 June 26, 2008

Post-Girl Fart (PGF)

The long-awaited release of flatulence that has built up in a male during a lengthy hang-out session with a female that they are potentially interested in, and therefore potentially unable to fart in front of.

"I ripped the most gigantic post-girl fart (PGF) in my car after dropping Halle Berry off at her place the other night"

by Revealer March 4, 2009

Laurie Post

Although rumored to be a fictitious legend, this local celebrity has been coaching for decades. Most known for her mastery in the art of aquatic instruction, this tame dame has a rich history of developing wee young lads into olympic gold medalists. Her resume includes head coach of the Tigersharks and Blue Dolphins Swimming Teams and has also been credited for inventing the Statue dance move.

Pedestrian #1: "Was that a super hero?"
Pedestrian #2: "Nope, that was Laurie Post!"

by Birthday Cake 4 July 20, 2009

IPED (immediate post-ejaculation depression)

ejaculating and then instantly hating the girl

IPED (immediate post-ejaculation depression): After Tom had sex with his friends with his ex girlfriend, he felt the loom bite of IPED creep up on him.

by profbass March 18, 2010

Postal Dude

A really cool guy

The Postal Dude went to get some milk, then he killed a bunch of people.

by Hardass April 1, 2003

emotional prostitute

One who provides emotional fulfullment for another person in exchange for money or goods. This may be accomplished where the Emotional Prostitute pretends to care or actually cares about the customer's emotional issues.

I am an Emotional Prostitute. For fifty dollars I will listen to your problems and make you believe I actually care.

by thoughtlesspig November 26, 2010

post coital fart

The act of finally letting out flatulance after having sex in a monogamous relationship. Single people may find this act disgusting, but married folk consider it mildly flattering that their partner held their gas long enough to engage in intercourse. Married people know that gaseous discharges is a sure way to let their significant other know that they have zero interest in sex. Holding it in until after the sex act lets the spouse know that they were both horny and gassy.

I treated my wife to a romantic evening of flowers, dinner, and wine. I found out later she wasn't feeling very well, but she did her part. After we went at it like horny teenagers, she let out a huge post coital fart. All I could do was laugh.

by pokerguy95 December 14, 2009