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Ole Chicago Yank Job 

Receiving a hand job in the 300 level of the United Center during a Blackhawks game under a glorious red sweater.
I wasn't paying at attention when Dustin Byfuglien scored his third goal of the game because the girl from Beverly I met at West End before the game was giving me the Ole Chicago Yank job in Section 310

Hyde Park, Chicago

So, most expansively, what I’d call Hyde Park extends from 47th Street to the Midway and from Lake Michigan to Cottage Grove. Some people really emphasize the distinction between (South) Kenwood and Hyde Park, but I don’t.

For almost 60 years, Hyde Park has been a proud, wholly artificial-seeming bubble in the midst of a sprawling black ghetto. 120 years ago, it was a swamp plus a thousand tons of earth dumped into the lake, conveniently accessible via rail. Today, portions of it need to be saved (or paved). Every tenth adult you meet is one of those eternal University hangers-on, while another tenth have made their relations with it (the University, that is) work.

There are grad students, working people, crackheads, neoliberals, and modestly successful 53rd Street gangsters… Think lakefront high-rises and walk-ups on 54th… There are bars on 55th Street, two Thai restaurants for every Thai person, bookstores on every major E-W thoroughfare, and like maybe even too many coffee shops, including that 24-hr Dunkin’ Donuts just off Dorchester – not to mention the whole Obama thing.

And the bubble is expanding, past 61st, 47th, and Washington Park. The future of said growth remains to be seen, especially since the recession hit and the Olympics fell through.

So, what is there to define that I cannot fully define? The parks are beautiful and the winters are frigid. We’re on the South Side, so you should root for the White Sox. I like it, I really do.
Hyde Park, Chicago: halfway between Englewood and Evanston, locked in its own strange subspace. The neighborhood that sort of works.
Hyde Park, Chicago by LexicalDiss September 27, 2010

old school Chicago Italian 

Peanut gallery: "Look at that guy sitting in the old rickety lawn chair, wearing a V-neck undershirt, tan chinos, and sunglasses, while reading the newspaper and smoking a stubby cigar. Looks like he takes very good care of his vegetable garden, and his grandkids appear to respect the hell out of him. He's old school Chicago Italian. Oh, damn: His wife just handed him a deli sandwich from Alpine Imports and a can of Old Style! Let's get the hell out of here before he kicks our asses!"

Italian guy: "You steppa on my grass, I breaka you face!"

university of chicago 

1. strange people
2. too much work due to the student body's love of procrastination
3. squirrels are cuter than the girls
4. guaranteed lower gpa
5. don't go here
wow, when i got to the university of chicago, a number of things happened: my gpa crashed, and my boner disappeared.

University of Chicago Laboratory Schools 

Best school in the country that is not in New York. President Obama sent his kids to the school, and that is just one of the abnormally high status attendees who went to the school. The school is filled with rich snobs who look down at anyone who doesn't have a 4.0 GPA or is mentioned in some article in some famous newspaper about some overachievement. The kids who go there are abnormally smart but they know how to party. They study hard, but they party harder. Abnormally rich parents send their kids to UCLS when they are in Kindergarten so that they are brainwashed so early and don't know anything besides A+'s and expensive cars and penthouses. Unless your the kid of one of the teachers. Then your lucky to get in on half off the tuition. Whenever you tell anyone you go to UCLS, kids are amazed because they just hear University of Chicago.
Random public school kid, "Hey which school do you go to?"

Rich private school kid, "I go to the University of Chicago Laboratory Schools."

Random public school kid, "Whoa you go to the University of Chicago!?!? but your really young!?!"

Rich private school kid, "No dumbass. I'm 15, and even though i skipped to grades, I'm not going to go to college before i can drive."

Random public school kid, "So which district is it part of."

Rich private school kid, "No dumbass, we're not part of a district cuz we're a private school."

Random public school kid, "Whoa you go to a private school!?!? So are you really rich??"

Rich private school kid, "I live in a 2.5 million dollar condo in downtown Chicago. and my parents drive 2 new $100,000 mercedes cars, an Aston Martin, and a vintage ferrari. So what do you think.

The 1985 Chicago Bears

The 1985 Chicago Bears were so good, they could sing the Super Bowl Shuffle even before they won it, knowing that they would.
The 1985 Chicago Bears by Patar13 October 2, 2008