Teacher's Pet

Probably one of the most self-centered egomaniacs you'll ever come across. They often flatter the teacher to gain favor, believe they must always achieve perfect scores on exams, essays etc. and tend to get others they don’t like into trouble. On top of that, they can't stand any criticism of the teacher, the school system, or even the assignments they’re given. If you so much as question anything, they’ll jump at the chance to lecture you, acting like you're somehow in the wrong for not agreeing with their perfect, unquestioning approach. And don’t even get them started on their grades, getting a 99% on a test is practically the end of the fucking world for them, as if anything less than perfect is a personal failure. And finally, they'll also remind the teacher about every homework assignment, sometimes even before it's due, just to make sure no one forgets and their precious record stays untarnished.

God I hate that fucking bitch so fucking much, I swear to god, if that teacher's pet reminds Mister Terrible one more time about the homework, I am going to kill her.

by Urban Infinity 2.0 November 23, 2024

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Petting Eugene

A euphemism for sexual activity, of any kind, esp. when done in the wee hours of the night quietly so as to avoid attention from sleepybois nearby.

Wonton: what were you and Lois doing up so late last night?
Avi: we were petting Eugene...
Wonton: uh huh....”petting Eugene”
Avi: 😳

by DaddyHume February 19, 2018

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Carry My Pet

A balance of everything. Knows how to win everyone's trust. An animal lover. A solution provider. Caring in nature. Knows how to reunite everyone with their loved ones.

"Not everyone is purr-fect like Carry My Pet is every quality. Only Carry My pet can win your heart as well as the heart of your loved ones"

by Carry My Pet November 24, 2021

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Stress pet

A pet that helps reduce stress. Fish, guinea pig, rabbit etc.

I’ve been having a rough month I think I might get a fish as my stress pet.

by Mikev August 25, 2021

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Weekends are for the pets

Aka. W.A.F.T.P.; A gesture that you should take some time out of your busy week to spend time your pets. You have been at work all week and you have barely spent any time with your pets. As we all know to five to six hours at home, in the late afternoon and evening, when your awake, is not much time; and on weekdays you usually have a lot of other things to take care of long before you can spend some time with your family and pets. If you have time to hang out with a bunch of your male friends to watch sports and drink, which for the record you could do any day of the week, not just Saturdays, then you have time to stay home, spend time with your family, including your pets, and have a good time together. The physical and emotional needs of your pets and your family come first. Even if you are not dating or married, if you have pet, you should be ensuring that their needs are being met adequately, before you go and hang out with your friends; and you should be spending a descent amount of time with your pet so they know that you care about them.

In some random conversation,
Boyfriend: I am going over to Kenny's house to watch football tonight.

Girlfriend: But you have not spent any time with me and Pabu all week. You should stay home and spend some time with us. We could a movie together.
Boyfriend: Sorry, but Saturdays are for the boys.

Girlfriend: Seriously. That is your reason. Sorry, but as far as I'm concerned weekends are for the pets. Please stay with me. You should spend more time with Pabu. He's your dog too.
Boyfriend: Okay. I'll spend the evening with you two then.

by Vanguard 1998 March 23, 2021

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