intellectual masturbation

Straining your thinking processes repeatedly until you hopefully find resolution in the form of an intellectual orgasm.
Wacking off theory after theory until you come to a head with a solution.

I've been working on this problem continually for some time, and my intellectual masturbation has finally led to resolution.

Jane: Did you get your homework finished?

Dick: I spent last night engaged in intellectual masturbation til I finally was satisfied. It really drained me.

by peckerwould April 25, 2010

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mental masturbation

The act of engaging in impractical/nonproductive mental exercise/thinkings/writings through which a practitioner only comforts oneself mentally. Such acts don't lead to any constructive results what so ever in the real world; some might even imagine oneself being transformed into superman, or simply the opposite sex, etc.
In short, it's just bs/crap.

Example1:
Guy1: My boyfriend went abroad so I can take over all his stuff and start anew.
Guy2: Dude, you're the same person all along; stop that mental masturbation and get the hell out of my sight.

Example2:
Guy1: I think biological evolution is bull, but mankind can evolve to become God.
Guy2: Dude, you're all fucked up; you can go on with your mental masturbation, but stop bordering me anymore.

by lionhead May 26, 2007

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nasal masturbation

Sticking a Q-tip in one's nose to tickle the inner nose and induce sneezing, usually in order to clear a stuffy nose.

I had a severely stuffed nose, but a bit of nasal masturbation cleared it right up!

by andrewc513 October 07, 2010

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Vocal Masturbation

for music production gurus. Harmonizing to your own melody part of a song when in the studio.

After Steve recorded his lead vocal part, vocal masturbation was in order.

by chandlermcmahan February 24, 2010

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Masturbating Lion

1. A yoga-like pose assumed in similar fashion to yoga's "gate pose" but with the hand in the crotch region. Mythical belief is that as a lion reaches climax from masturbation, this is the posture he assumes. Thought to intimidate other males and arouse the sleaziest of females of the pride.

Dude: Do you see how drunk that dude is?

Lad: Yeah, oh my goodness, he's stumbling backwards and just fell...but he impressively caught himself with one arm down on the ground and still managed to keep his beer upright!

Dude: Wooahh man, I can't believe that! Did he really? He just pulled off the masturbating lion!

by Richard Swallow May 20, 2011

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