i wouldn't be surprised if we never saw denise richards again

A phrase so commonly used by Trixie Mattel, that it is canon now.

Jake: Yo dawg, where is that chick Denise Richards nowadays?
Logan: I wouldn't be surprised if we never saw Denise Richards again.

by Glass Half-Full August 29, 2021

If it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college

From Lewis Black, it's the kind of saying that has no conceivable logical explanation and can cause your head to explode if you think about it for any significant amount of time.

"Right, New Jersey is a great place to live. And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

by You're with me, leather April 09, 2007

if it wasn't for my horse, i wouldn't have spent that year in college

No one knows what this phrase means. Comedian Lewis Black said this in a bit but he doesn't know what it means either.

If it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.

by Thycid March 20, 2005

You wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating cheesy doritos

A way of emphasising when a woman is increidbly attractive as cheesy doritos not only leave crumbs but also stink up the place.

Jessica Alba you wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating cheesy doritos

by Elburno January 27, 2008

You wouldn't buy a hooker just to kick her

A phrase used when somebody is abusing something that they own/have access to. Usually something that they have paid good money for.

Guy 1: "My laptop isn't working again."

Guy 2: "Stop filling it with crap, then. You wouldn't buy a hooker just to kick her, would you."

by MichaelToTheJ March 15, 2011

if it wasn't for my horse, i wouldn't have spent that year in college

In a bit by Lewis black he overheard one girl say this to another. He went on to say that this is the type of nonsensical utterance that if you think about it too long you will develop an aneurysm and your head will explode. In fact, in many places trading a horse for a year of college is acceptable. Horses can be sold for $10s of thousands of dollars.

I was broke so if it wasn't for my horse, i wouldn't have spent that year in college.

by nombre falso February 23, 2010

I wouldn't piss up your ass if your guts were on fire.

The ultimate FUCK YOU.
I would rather watch you die from internal hellfire, rather than extinguish your flaming innards with my urine.

Suzie: Hey man you are a fucking dick, why do you treat everyone like shit?

Balls Hampton: Fuck you bitch! I wouldn't piss up your ass if your guts were on fire.

Suzie: Weeps uncontrollably

by GGR August 04, 2008