Morning Wood Fairy

It's the mystical spirit that turns your soft serve into rock candy.

When everyone's asleep,
the Morning Wood Fairy comes at night,
she makes our sausages hard,
and vanishes out of sight.
I woke up in the morning,
and I got up to pee
but then I last discovered
my sapling turned into a tree.

Morning Wood Fairy by Cinna the Poet October 11, 2016

morning wood effect 

In parallel thinking to the butterfly effect, this is not knowing what will happen when trying something new for the very first time. Like taking a piss with morning wood, you can never predict where or what direction your piss will go.

Like when NASA first had astronauts in space, they had no idea if they would come back alive until they did it.
Those scientists could only rely on the morning wood effect to be in their favor.

morning wood effect by Devil's Workshop Industries April 17, 2014

morning wood working 

When waking up with morning wood, masturbating to climax.

This morning I woke up and did some major morning wood working!

morning wood working by jager666999 May 14, 2016

morning wood wizard 

Someone who enjoys getting woken up by a blow job which was initiated out of pleasant surprise caused by readyness

Something that never happens when you are single as nobody can be ppleasantly surprised by your ready erection when they wake up.

Z: Dude, i hear Ben is a morning wood wizard
O: yeah man makes sense, he's a total bonehead

morning wood wizard by keinenechtennamen September 22, 2017

morning wood struggle 

When you wake up relaxed on a weekend morning relaxed with no plans except your morning wood. Do you go through the effort to get up, dressed, and find someone to help you take care of it or just jerk off alone?

This guy is really hot and I bet the sex would be great, but is it worth the hassle to get up and go over? Curse the morning wood struggle, I'll just jerk off alone.

morning wood struggle by RCtrlZ September 20, 2020

morning wood lifting 

Lifting morning wood with you closest friend/friends usually occurring around dawn.

Hey Ruby, I'm busy doing morning wood lifting with Alex. Talk to you later

morning wood lifting by Lifterofyee May 27, 2016

morning wood denial

This is when a lady refuses to have sex with her, even though he has a full on morning wood!

Lisa gave Jon morning wood denial, after having fought the night before!

morning wood denial by guyfawkes74 January 3, 2010