Gooner

Someone who constantly jerks their shit

My mate Rylan Berry is a HUGE gooner (fake name)

by TheSandManTwentyTen March 28, 2025

The Last Gooner

Infamous Nautica Malone, also known as “The Gooner”, “Deathstroke”, etc. He is seen riding in his black dodge challenger also known as the “The Goonrider” or the “The flying Goonman”.

“Yo you see that car? It reminded me of The Last Gooner”.

by The Jelqmaxxer March 10, 2025

Gooner

Me.
You.
Us.

We are gooners.

You: I just gooned to timeskip iwaizumi from haikyuu last night!
Me: SAME!1!1 gooner bros!

by Saccharineeva September 13, 2025

Gooner

Someone who partakes in gooning

IE: Philippe Parr

You are a mad gooner !!

by Helper worder July 11, 2025

D1 Gooner

Someone who is serverly addicted to porn, sexual pleasure, or "gooning"

My son is a D1 gooner

I am a D1 gooner

by The One Who Goons November 28, 2024

Animal Jam gooner

An animal jam default wolf that goons off to unemployed female jammers arctic wolf OC

Herbiebirdie: "HEY! did you just see him gooning off to that chopped looking OC?"
Default tiger: "YEAH"
Herbiebirdie: "OMG NOW HES E-GOONING TO YOUR DEFAULT ANIMAL"
Default tiger: "FARTS"

That animal jam gooner goons too much.

by Herbiebirdie October 11, 2025

Goonerism

A soul-crushing, dignity-vaporizing descent into hentai-fueled oblivion, where every shred of self-respect, ambition, and human potential is violently sacrificed at the altar of endless, wrist-snapping depravity. A gooner, once a functioning person, devolves into a dopamine-addicted troglodyte, eyes sunken, skin pale, body frail—marinating in the warm glow of their screen as they edge closer and closer to complete neurological collapse. Conversations? Forgotten. Dreams? Replaced with AI-generated waifus who wouldn't acknowledge their existence even if coded to. Relationships? Nonexistent—unless you count the parasocial bonds they've formed with fictional characters and cam models who milk them like brain-dead cattle. The peak of their life is a pixelated orgasm, followed by an existential horror so deep it could make Lovecraft weep. Goonerism isn’t just a habit—it’s a one-way ticket to being a functionally extinct human being.

"Once a promising young man with dreams and ambition, Jake succumbed to full-blown goonerism, wasting away in the dim glow of his monitor, his only accomplishments being a collection of cursed bookmarks, a wrist that could arm-wrestle God, and a level of self-loathing so deep it could be measured in fathoms."

by N0rs3GOd March 14, 2025