Baptemal

A living legend who’s made mistakes

U absolute fucking baptemal

by Conor, Oisin, Jack October 27, 2019

Baptism for the dead

A doctrine promoted mostly (but not exclusively) by Mormon groups wherein a living believer is baptized for a dead person who was never baptized.

1 CORINTHIANS 15:22&29,
22) Just as in Adam all die, so also in Christ all will be made alive.
29) Otherwise, what will they do who practice BAPTISM FOR THE DEAD, if the dead are not to be raised? What then would be the point of being BAPTIZED FOR THE DEAD?

by Ellen G. White May 14, 2009

Westboro Baptist Church

A crazy bunch of people based out of Topeka Kansas who believe that God hates America because of tolerance of homosexuality. They protest at events such as military funerals, and were going to picket the funeral of the little girl killed at the Tuscon shooting (where Gabby Giffords was shot) and that the Amish girls killed in the shooting in Pennsylvania deserved to die. They picket anywhere they can and drag their kids into a life of hatred, holding signs such as 'Thank God for 9/11' and believe anyone outside their church tolerates homosexuality and is just plain going to hell.

"You've raised your fat brat to hate the Lord and you tolerate fags, so you and your brat are going to hell"-actually said by Shirley Phelps, daughter of the preacher at Westboro Baptist Church

by lizzysparkles July 1, 2011

Baptidome

Insanely large church. If it's not bigger than the mall, it doesn't fully glorify Jeebus.

On Sunday in Houston, the show will be at the Baptidome.

by dougules February 24, 2008

Tijuana Baptism

When a guy gets his junk vomited on whilst receiving a blow job.

Chris: "Hey, remember that drunk chick at the bar the other day?"

Marc: "You mean the one with no teeth?"

Chris: "Yeah. She gave me a blowy in my car and threw up all over my wee-wee."

Marc: "That's awesome, you've gotten your first Tijuana Baptism!"

by Kilroy Roboto July 25, 2009

Toaster Baptism

When you drop an unplugged toaster on a baby who is sitting in a bath tub filled with one inch of water. You then take the baby’s body and use it to make baby powder and baby oil. Then you sell the products for a profit to buy a new baby.

Adam: Do you want to perform a Toaster Baptism
Thomas: Of course

by Yeetix February 11, 2020

John the Baptist

Charismatic New Testament bible prophet. Named John at birth son of Zacharias and Elisabeth; he baptized Jesus Christ.

Baptized people to repentance with water at the Jordan river and was beheaded by King Herod Antipas.

John the Baptist ate locusts and wild honey.

by thedzone October 4, 2009