American Football 

The Americans hadn't invented a sport yet that they could call their own. THey stole Britain's "football" (a game where you kick around a ball) and used their hands instead because they didn't know how to use feet in the olden days. They then stole rounders (another English game) and called it baseball.... what??

I hate American Football because I am cynical.

American Football by Matt Bellamy April 21, 2004

American Football 

Something boring people are obsessed with because they have nothing better to do with their lives. Fanatics boost the salaries and contracts of a bunch of nimrods who can do little more than toss or kick a ball and get paid more than scientists, teachers, their moms and dads and other people who actually improve their lives and make the world a better place to live.

Why are americans so overweight by an large? Because they'd rather sit in front of tv's watching things like american football and american idol and drink beer. Beer gives guys such unsexy beer bellies that girls wont give them any sex, so guys have to sit around watching american football as if that were better than bustin' a nut.

American Football by Jock January 23, 2005

American Football 

It's a lot like Rugby, they just use way too much gear as if they were going to war, which in this case they get their body broken sometimes.

And also, this "American Football" only Americans really like it, because the rest of the world doesn't.

This has nothing to do with football in reality, it's really rugby under the name football.

Football you kick the ball with your feet, hence the name. "Soccer" is a dumb ignorant word that Americans use it to describe the Real Football.

Player 1: Do you want to play American Football?
Player 2: Nah, that's lame.

American Football by Anon12576343 November 22, 2010

american football 

Sport played mainly in America. Designed so that every strand of society has something they can do. Fat bloaters to bump into each other, actual athletes to run and kick, and enough support staff to win the war in Iraq.

Unfeasibly boring due to repeated and lengthy breaks in play.

Rugby's stunted bastard child...

Commentator 1: "Yeah John, that was a fantastic pass from shotgun by Brett Favre."

Commentator 2: "Fuck off, I'm watching rugby."

american football by Scotsdave December 13, 2004

american football 

It's called Gayball in Europe

Hey dude, do you want to play gayball?
You mean american football?
Yes, gayball

american football by Cadel Evans July 23, 2006

american football 

Pretty much the dumbest idea ever. For one thing, it's not even football! Football is what you idiotic american football players call "soccer"." Soccer" is REAL football! In your retarded football, you don't even use your feet! Unlike in REAL football! For another thing, take an awesome game that isn't for pussies, rugby: no pads, no stopping in between every play, no 5 hour games, and no stupid goal as big as the field itself! Take that awesome sport over seas to america, have some stupid lard-a's that do nothing but sit on their asses all day and watch TV, screw around with it, take REAL football's name cause they can't think of anything else cause they're failures at life, and you get american football: a "sport" for fatties that can't run for more then 15 seconds max.

american football player:You're a pussy.

ME:I play soccer and alley rugby, and your calling me the pussy! You're the pussy for playing american football. At least I can run for 90 min.'s straight without stopping every 2-15 seconds. And, all I wear pad-wise are tiny little shin guards, not a full body suit of new-age armor.

american football player:Football's a man's sport!

ME:My point exactly! You're all homosexuals! Just look at the way you touch each other!

american football player:We're not touching each other, we're hitting each other!

ME:Can you even feel that through those hundred-pound pads you're wearing. Plus, what is the point of the butt-protecters, just to make it harder for you're gay colleagues to get to it? I sure hope you guys are wearing condoms in those so called "dog piles". It would be horrible if a whole team died of AIDS, on second thought, do what ever you want.

american football player:well...ummm...well .......

ME:Oh, I'm sorry is your mouth guard in?

american football player:you....uhhhhh....y ou.......

ME:Yeah, that's what I thought.

ME:PEACE! Baby Gap.

american football by kellysucksbutirideitanyways February 12, 2008

American Football 

A made for Tv "sport" which usually involves some incredibly large men (usually on as many drugs each as a whole pro cycling team) running into each other and then standing around for about 5 minutes while the commentators discuss how well it was defended and how they were lucky to advance even a yard. And then there'll be some action and then later someone will run across a line at the end of the field amid much excitement. Meanwhile any person not called "Bubba" or "Chuck" will be asleep. That why games are scheduled to be on in the middle of the night in the UK, it's part of a govornment program to cure insomnia.
All this and they have the nerve to steal OUR name for real football and then call it boring! AT LEAST OUR SPORT DOESN'T STOP FOR AD BREAKS!

"Hey Bubba, let's do somthing fulfilling and worthwhile with our lives!"

No, Chuck. Let's watch American Football insted!

American Football by Thom Yorke July 22, 2004