Wipe Abstinence

The extremely difficult challenge of abstaining from wiping your ass after defecating. The lack thereof creates a hard exterior shell after 3 months, which signifies the elite alphas from the beta sheep. After one year of keeping a pure ass free from toilet paper, your mind will be unlocked to many abilities some consider unnatural.

Dude 1: Bro how is the Wipe Abstinence?

Dude 2: Man I started to levitate for up to 2 seconds at a time and I only stopped wiping 3 weeks ago!

Dude 1: That's amazing dude, I just got promoted to the head of the company I work at and I'm only 3 days in.

by PoopSockAdvocate December 28, 2019

ass wipe

When someone is being a total dickhead you call them an ass wipe

madi: LAUREN WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING
lauren: NOTHING
madi: STOP BEING A FUCKIN ASS WIPE

by dcjaevnbghisf April 19, 2019

wipe gate

Taking a shitting, not whipping and going straight on for taking a shower/bath.

P1: -Did you just not wipe yourself after no.2?
P2: -No, I'm doing wipe gate!

by alupigus993 May 2, 2019

Penis Wipe

Just your typical average fucking douche. He is such a penis wipe that he sucks all the nut off your dicks. Also known as a pussy towelette.

Damn! Gavin is such a fucking penis wipe!

Wow, Gavin is such a penis wipe, all the nut... gone.

by Shlomo Jesus May 10, 2019

Polite Wipe

The perfunctory wipe-down of a surface before someone else uses the still-filthy surface. It is commonly performed as a means to signal care and consideration for a third party without actually caring enough to clean properly.

I gave the phone a polite wipe before moving desks.

by Office Drone #695 September 19, 2019

Ass wipe

A very amazing person. That is usually right. All of the time. They are mightier than the lord tachanka

Tachanka enters the room: everybody stares in amazement at the lord himself. An ass wipe enters the room: people will run over the lord tachanka to get a glimpse of the stunning ass wipe herself

by Blazed on a kayak September 7, 2019

faith wipe

When you take a shit that is so clean on it's departure that even the slightest thought of attempting to wipe would be dishonorable to the clean getaway. The clean streak, even.

That one was the opposite of a dirty dog shit. I just faith wiped that one instead.

by MistaDillPickle June 2, 2018