Redneck Wet Wipe

When you're on the toilet taking a mean shit and you realize you have to blow your nose, so you grab some toilet paper to do so, then wipe your asshole with the now-wet and snotty toilet paper, thereby cleaning your asshole more effectively than just regular shit tickets. The best part is, unlike regular wet wipes, you can flush it without fucking up your septic tank or local sewage system.

Wife: "Honey, do we have any wet wipes? I've got the never-ending wipe happening here."
Husband: "Just blow you nose into some toilet paper!"
W: "Huh?"
H: "You know, like a Redneck Wet Wipe!"
W: "Gross, babe."
H: "Is it really any more gross than what just came out of your asshole?"
W: "Fair point." *honk*

by Crap-tain April 20, 2025

ash wiping

when you are wiping your ass from back to front. so all the shit lands on a males ballsack and sits there forever until turned to ashes and fell off. (some people do this btw)

Ash wiper: Dude i hate this toilet paper, i need to switch technique to not have shit on my ballsack

Ass wiper: dude wtf (what the fuck) do you mean?

Ash wiper: i just told you

Ass wiper: How do you wipe your ass

Ash wiper: From ass crack to ballsack

Ass wiper: *ltfno* (laughing their fucking nipples off)

Ash wiper: i am an ash wiper. who is ash wiping.

by z3da October 17, 2019

briefcase mong wipe

Typically found at a school setting he/she is that one overly formal person in the group who fantasizes about their super hot mom and is always found carrying around his trusty briefcase with witch he uses to wipe his own ass.

Man can't this wanker stop acting like a briefcase mong wipe!

by The bagel 777 June 13, 2018

Poo-of-a-1000 wipes

When you take a poo and go to wipe but after 5 wipes you’re still not clean, so you have to just keep wiping and wiping and still, poop. Like a marker

I was taking a poo and when I went to wipe I just kept wiping, and wiping, still, poop. Like a marker. So I made an Alabama Wetwipe by spitting of a piece of tp because it was a Poo-of-a-1000 wipes. Why couldn’t it have been a ghost poop?

by Peltmaster August 16, 2022

one wipe more

When you shit and the shit won't come out but when you wipe it decides to fuck you in reverse and come out making you wipe once and wipe more.

That one wipe more was taking so long

by Didddies February 8, 2017

Baby wipe

A pre-moistened, pre-packaged tissue used to wipe up whatever leftover sperm does not get licked, slurped, swallowed or eaten during a gangbang or orgy.

The use of baby wipes in porn only rubs in for all the spilled spermies that they will never get to make a baby.

by bitchuck August 30, 2024

boogie wipes

Wipes used by people with the brain of two year old.

(2 4th grade boys) Boi! Y u use da boogie wipes sicko!

by FlExChIlLzBy pump boi yo ya March 5, 2019