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Wank monkey

A person that is socially inept and yet full of themselves.

Someone whose only source of conversation is themselves and the things they get up to.

The word derives from the common word for masturbation and monkey, the animal that uses aggressive displays to prove their social status.
It occurred to me as I heard about Nikki's time as a stripper that she was a huge wank monkey.
by Alan-O September 26, 2007
mugGet the Wank monkeymug.

Chain wanking

Similar to chain smoking except it is having one wank after another, usually practised by teenage boys with internet access in their bedroom
A mother will shout up the stairs to her son "get up it is 2pm" and the boys father will tell her "leave the boy alone, he is chain wanking"
by Kendo Bazoo November 14, 2009
mugGet the Chain wankingmug.

Blitz-Wank

Noun: blitz-wank - a wank that should never exceed more than roughly one minute. Any longer than that and it can no longer be classed as a B.W.

Verb: to blitz-wank - the act of furiously masturbating so as to achieve and orgasm in a very particular time constraint.

For the gentleman who just needs to get something out of his system in a record breaking time.
A day at the office-
Bob: Fml, this work is really getting me down. No wonder the statistics of office suicides are so high lately.
Pete: Just go into the supplies cupboard and rub out a BW my friend.
Bob: BW?
Pete: Blitz-wank! It's where you choke the life out of your chicken until it sqwarks in around a minute.
*after a brief blitz-wanking session bob returns to his desk and completes all of his assignments to an exceptional standard*
Bob: Remember kids, if it weren't for BWs, I wouldn't be where I am today.
by Russian Roller November 28, 2010
mugGet the Blitz-Wankmug.

wank ass

"What is this wank ass music we are listening to?"
by john's peena April 17, 2018
mugGet the wank assmug.

Chimp Wank

It is the act of taping ones penis to ones leg with either tape or cling film and wanking with his leg like a chimp.

The main advantage of this is that one can still eat and drink at the same time like a Sir.
Sir 1 "Dude we used so much tape and cling film"
Sir 2 "What having a chimp wank?"
by Bashtoe August 23, 2012
mugGet the Chimp Wankmug.

posh wank

What David Beckham has to settle for when she's not quite in the mood for full sex.
David was busting for a fuck but Victoria was feeling tired after not eating all day, so David had to be happy with a posh wank that evening.
by JacobMarley45434 May 22, 2011
mugGet the posh wankmug.

The Death Wank

Similar to the risky wank. It involves sitting in your room with a boner, then yelling to your mum that you need to see her quickly. The trick is to start and finish jerking off before she makes it to your room. Only attempted by fucking idiots or virgins who can cum that fast.
john: "MUUUUUUUMMMM COME HEREEEE!!!"

mum: "Coming" Step, step, step

john: "SHIT, SHIT ,SHIT, FUCK ME YEAHHHH"

mum: step, step, open door "WTF!!!"

john: "CRAP....DIDN'T MAKE IT"

John fails the death wank. Silly prick
by Wattini October 15, 2008
mugGet the The Death Wankmug.

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