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wank splat

commonly used as an insult but often refered to the very messy end of a wanking session if not using your wank jammies...
guy1:dude that was weak!!
guy2:shut up you wank splat.

i had a wank last night and had wank splat all over my bed and got it on my hand...
by shaun p July 19, 2005
mugGet the wank splatmug.

analogue wank

Having to revert to the more traditional methods of masturbation by using "old skool" materials such as books, magazines and rude drawings.
My fucking internet isn't getting connected for another fortnight! I'm gonna have to settle for an analogue wank tonight instead of YouJizz!
by darkh0rse July 2, 2011
mugGet the analogue wankmug.

extreme wanking

The art of masturbating till near climax. Whereabouts you shout: "Hey mum come here a minute!". You then have the time it take till you mum arrives to finish jacking off and get cleaned up.
by Alex and Rob February 18, 2003
mugGet the extreme wankingmug.

Code Wank

code /ko?d/ kohd noun, verb, cod·ed, cod·ing.
wank /wæ?k/ wangk Chiefly British Slang: Vulgar

Creating code that does not relate to the core purpose of a project. Basically wanking around with peripheral tasks

- source. Dave Fleming
"Lets avoid wasting time with any code wank on this project"
by bluemedia October 22, 2007
mugGet the Code Wankmug.

Wank monkey

A person that is socially inept and yet full of themselves.

Someone whose only source of conversation is themselves and the things they get up to.

The word derives from the common word for masturbation and monkey, the animal that uses aggressive displays to prove their social status.
It occurred to me as I heard about Nikki's time as a stripper that she was a huge wank monkey.
by Alan-O September 26, 2007
mugGet the Wank monkeymug.

Wank Ninja

Someone who is very skilled at wanking covertly in the same room as another person - the master of risky wanking. The Wank Ninja can successfully wank in a number of locations without being detected: in the back of the car with their family, under the table during a meeting, on the sofa next to a friend, etc. The art of the silent finish is vital, as is suppressing any hint of the Orgasm Face.
The other night, my girlfriend totally managed to get herself off three times during dinner with my grandparents - she's such a wank ninja.
by TheWN June 8, 2012
mugGet the Wank Ninjamug.

Blitz-Wank

Noun: blitz-wank - a wank that should never exceed more than roughly one minute. Any longer than that and it can no longer be classed as a B.W.

Verb: to blitz-wank - the act of furiously masturbating so as to achieve and orgasm in a very particular time constraint.

For the gentleman who just needs to get something out of his system in a record breaking time.
A day at the office-
Bob: Fml, this work is really getting me down. No wonder the statistics of office suicides are so high lately.
Pete: Just go into the supplies cupboard and rub out a BW my friend.
Bob: BW?
Pete: Blitz-wank! It's where you choke the life out of your chicken until it sqwarks in around a minute.
*after a brief blitz-wanking session bob returns to his desk and completes all of his assignments to an exceptional standard*
Bob: Remember kids, if it weren't for BWs, I wouldn't be where I am today.
by Russian Roller November 28, 2010
mugGet the Blitz-Wankmug.

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