Keeping the doctor away

shoving apple slices up your bum. also referred to as Doing the Newton and Baking a pie

You want to go out to the club tonight?

I can't. I'm keeping the doctor away so I gotta stay close to the john

by Irma Gurd October 3, 2013

Keep it under the rug

Similar to keeping it under the table, but a bit more descrete. Like if you were to hide everything under a rug to "clean" your room

Im going to give you extra tater tots, but keep it under the rug

by Lil'red November 1, 2013

Keepering

Keepering; is when your goalkeeper in football (soccer) makes what should be a simple save or catch into a horrendous mistake.

Keepering Football Soccer Goalkeeper SundayLeague PubTeam

by KINGZz November 20, 2013

Keep the bird in its cage

A fancy way of saying, "Keep it in your pants!"

Dick: "I'm thinking about going streaking; wanna join?"
Tom: "No, and keep the bird in its cage!"

by Dcstrutter May 27, 2015

Keep your face on

Getting angry for no fucking reason.

Keep your face on is to calm the fuck down, your face is falling off and you need to keep it on ;)

by huddy1 November 5, 2014

Keep Me Texted

Based off of the expression "keep me posted," a way of asking someone to stay in touch via text message

Older brother: Thanks for a great night! See you soon.
Younger brother: Sounds good, keep me texted. Do you want to play some Mario Kart online later tonight?
Older brother: Maybe, I'll keep you texted!
Younger brother: Yeah, keep me texted!

by Caesar Is Home January 25, 2015

Keeping your nose clean

Keeping your nose clean means are you staying out of trouble

Boy: "Did you see that your homeboy got locked up for drug possession?"

Girl: "Yeah, I know he is your friend, but I hope you are keeping your nose clean."

by ThatgurlJo216 March 22, 2016