I wish I was Jared, 19

This phrase can be seen in the comment section of outrageous or otherwise shocking posts to express disturbance, confusion, or surprise. It refers to the popular vine “My name is Jared, I’m 19, and I never learned how to fucking read”

*A tweet vividly describing someones sexual fantasy involving feet, motor oil, 13 male strippers, toothpaste, used toilet paper, and a bidet*

Comment section:
“Man, I wish I was Jared, 19”

by Seen_too_much June 07, 2024

jared zoot

An absolute scary monster of a zoot that only the biggest of zoot smokers can smoke

That's a Jared zoot bro, lemme have some tokes I wanna get Bruce lee'd

by Yea mate August 30, 2017

Jared Spliff

The prefect mix of marijuana and tobacco rolled up into a perfect cone

Q:do you want to hit my marty spliff?
A:Nah its cool i have a perfect Jared Spliff right here.

by Dat fox January 14, 2012

Big Dick Jared

A well built african american with significantly large genitals, so much so that it may be a burden for him.

“Woah babe, your dick is just like big dick jared’s!”

by Jared1337 June 13, 2021

A Jared

When someone who is usually wrong turns out to be innocent the one time you call them on it.

I yelled at the teenager bc I'm sick of his lying, but he was telling the truth this time, I guess it was A Jared.

by Atomnic1 November 24, 2023

Jared Parks

tall skinny kid with a broken back who acts tougher on text than in person. He will threaten to beat you up on text but will slap you on the cheek and say he beat the shit outta you.

"Stop being a Jared Parks and say that to my face."

by Mark Sanito December 10, 2019

Jared Reeves

A bitch ass who’s parents buy him everything who can’t say shit to people’s face because he knows he’ll get his ass kicked

I am Jared Reeves

by Fuckjaredreeves May 31, 2018