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Cradle Monkey

Cradling your significant other's hefty ball sacks in the cup of your hand, taking pressure off the penal area known as the perineum.
Hey dude?
YEah man...
Your balls look tired
Yeah i had a rough day
Weellllllll i mean ill cradle monkey them for a little bit so they can relieve circulation.....i mean if thats okay..
.........ummmm sure.....is that gay?
No man not at all........let me do it
by HPFBanana Hammock March 31, 2011
mugGet the Cradle Monkeymug.

Gear Monkey

Having an obsession with anything vehicle related! Spending hrs and hours researching and building a particular type of vehicle to perfection. While being amazing at everything!
Those Gear Monkey’s spent hours building thier ultra4 vehicle!

That Gear Monkey was moving quick through the desert!

Baby don’t worry, I’m a Gear Monkey!

I wish I was a Gear Monkey to be as cool as that guy!

Don’t worry I can Gear Monkey it!

He was driving like a Gear Monkey!

If only I could Gear Monkey

She was totally Gear Monkey last night!
by The Gear Monkey May 9, 2018
mugGet the Gear Monkeymug.

Taser Monkey

A police officer, especially one who reflexively uses his or her Taser in situations in which a real cop would rely on his or her wits and communication skills.
Peace Loving Citizen: Excuse me, officer, might you have the time?

Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.

Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.

Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!

Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
by taserbrain February 12, 2010
mugGet the Taser Monkeymug.

monkey tug

Woman masturbates man with feet while man stares at vagina
Her large feet and massive monkey would make for an amazing monkey tug.
by Young James April 23, 2008
mugGet the monkey tugmug.

wet the monkey

a phrase used when other euphemisms just won't do.
I suggest you don't wet the monkey when your mother's in the room.

That movie tried too hard to wet the monkey; it just looked painful.
by Bishopk March 4, 2009
mugGet the wet the monkeymug.

Baked monkey

While under the influence of copious amounts of THC, a brain altering chemical , one may experience being “baked.” Crossing the line from baked to extremely baked would promote one to the level of "baked monkey."
Did u see Phillip? He was baked monkey at dinner tonight, he wouldn’t stop eating and making animal noises cause he was so fucking high.
by bakedmonkey69 February 1, 2022
mugGet the Baked monkeymug.

monkey trap

When someone is punked(tricked), they have been monkey trapped. Originally from a volleyball play where the attacker baits the opponent to touch the net and end in a point for the other team.
Whoa, Will just tricked me again, he monkey traps me all the time.
by ggggvgggg October 30, 2011
mugGet the monkey trapmug.

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