drinking with jesus

The act of drinking in solitude without the connotation of being an alcoholic.

-I can't believe you pregamed alone last night, you're such a loser.
-Bro, I was drinking with Jesus.

by yeeserious October 20, 2005

Jesus Land

Any state that gave Bush the electoral vote. Usually directed at the south.

Jesus Land loves you!

by JohnJohn1186 November 9, 2004

on baby jesus

its just somethin i made up

somebody: you lying
me: on baby jesus i aint lyin
ian trippin on baby jesus
on baby jesus yhu mad weird 🥱💯.

by Ty💀 September 18, 2020

jesus goggles

If you say that someone is wearing Jesus goggles, you mean that that person has been so on fire for God that they think someone is more sexually attractive because they too have the same level of passion for Jesus instilled in their heart:

"How did you manage to get such a beautiful girlfriend when you look how you do?"
"Brah pls- Jesus is my wingman"

""Why is she dating him, he ain't fly"
"Ahh man homie, she must have her jesus goggles on tiggggghhhtttt"
"Ahmen to that"
"Mmmmhmmm"

by uj6tyjhvj March 29, 2015

australian jesus

Australian Jesus is a white guy with long hair who heads his own cult in the Australian outback. He appeals to monied persons, and ignores the poor. He convinces them to leave their families, show up in Australia (if they're foreigners), and place their monies in the palm. Then, he puts them into a heightened emotional state that makes them cry. If you wish to abandon all that is good and true in life, and then cry, then you are encouraged to seek out the cult of Australian Jesus.

Example for Australian Jesus:

"You don't believe in Jesus!?"
"No, of course I believe in Him. He's that one fella in Australia."

by James Headfield March 10, 2020

Jesus in a lightbulb

The thing that appears above your head when you think to yourself, either silently or out loud, "WWJD?"

When you suddenly have a thought of remorse or guilt, the moment the lighbulb appears above your head, (only this time with a vision of Jesus in it with his hands held out and that puppy-dog look in his eyes...) that makes you stop and rethink your actions and the repercussions of those actions.

Dude: "Hmmm... I probably shouldn't have pocketed that $20 that just fell outta that lil' ol' lady's purse...."

(Result: Jesus appears in a lightbulb above wrong-doer's head).

by munchkin'smom July 24, 2011

Conversational Jesus

A person with the ability to turn a conversation about water into a conversation about wine.

A: After my work-out i was really thirsty, i would have killed for some water.
B: Then why didn't you just un-cork a good bottle?
A: Un-cork? .... are you talking about wine again?
B: Of course, what else?
A: Man, you'r a true Conversational Jesus!..

by Darkwing Warming April 20, 2011