my beautiful gorgeous delicious sweet amazing(did i mention beautiful?) wife. jared padalecki is the most gorgeous man on earth n honestly should be the president of our country. he has been gorgeous since the 1990s, his specific peak(controversially) being the 2010s. hes been in many goated movies(may i include house of wax?) including friday the 13th the 2009 remaster(where his moobs were outrageously huge), supernatural(where he had luscious hair), and gilmore girls(where he was an extremely sexy jerk). i could write an entire paragraph on this man. he is so incredibly amazingly amazing amazing amazing it never fails to fly over my head. literally the most delicious man ever. extremely bitable and uh.. may i say extremely arousing. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN EVER. if u don’t agree then you are not the brightest in the bunch.
girl: “bazinga!! jared padaleckis man boobs are huge in this movie, lawd have mercy..”
(straight) boy: “biyaaaatch.. imma straight male but giirl u right, he could tots get it.”
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random: “have u watched supernatural? season 5 sam makes me wanna combust, dear god.”
another random: “yeah, seeing him made me bust in my pants.”
(straight) boy: “biyaaaatch.. imma straight male but giirl u right, he could tots get it.”
—
random: “have u watched supernatural? season 5 sam makes me wanna combust, dear god.”
another random: “yeah, seeing him made me bust in my pants.”
by eatsjaredpadaleckischewedgum February 24, 2025
by bignbomb74 April 23, 2021
When you take too much of a substance you do or don't know the content of and start straight salmon-ing on the floor
Person #1: Yo man I haven't seen Tiffany at school in like 3 days, have you heard from her?
Person #2: Idk man but I heard rumors that she ended up pulling a jared.
Person #2: Idk man but I heard rumors that she ended up pulling a jared.
by LevMehArone January 26, 2022
by romanojare January 12, 2025
a very aggressive very kinky boy that likes to refer to girls as bitches and also loves the word "fuck"
by susafet March 09, 2016
"Jared Leto is the best"
by DRUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS September 11, 2022
Jarees is a compassionate down to earth man, but he is a player. He plays tf out of every female until he finds the right one. He is the goofiest guy you will ever meet. He’s sweet like candy, and as soft as a teddy bear. Smells good too. Sexy af.
by Lucky727 December 18, 2018