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Baked monkey

While under the influence of copious amounts of THC, a brain altering chemical , one may experience being “baked.” Crossing the line from baked to extremely baked would promote one to the level of "baked monkey."
Did u see Phillip? He was baked monkey at dinner tonight, he wouldn’t stop eating and making animal noises cause he was so fucking high.
by bakedmonkey69 February 1, 2022
mugGet the Baked monkeymug.

Taser Monkey

A police officer, especially one who reflexively uses his or her Taser in situations in which a real cop would rely on his or her wits and communication skills.
Peace Loving Citizen: Excuse me, officer, might you have the time?

Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.

Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.

Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!

Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!
by taserbrain February 12, 2010
mugGet the Taser Monkeymug.

Mhhh monkey

when you are please and no one knows why
when master oogway saves monkeys life he asks why and answers Mhhh monkey

if you want to see for you self search Mhhh monkey in google
by Mhhh-monkey May 13, 2020
mugGet the Mhhh monkeymug.

clout monkey

Someone who constantly wants clout and brags about having clout
“Yo stacey is a whole clout monkey
by skee__t January 5, 2019
mugGet the clout monkeymug.

Shuttle-Monkey

A shuttle-Monkey is someone who prefers to get a lift up a mountain by car or chairlift instead of putting in the effort to ride up and earn the downhill rip.
Only shuttle-monkeys ride downhill bikes
by onedollarbill October 18, 2006
mugGet the Shuttle-Monkeymug.

wet the monkey

a phrase used when other euphemisms just won't do.
I suggest you don't wet the monkey when your mother's in the room.

That movie tried too hard to wet the monkey; it just looked painful.
by Bishopk March 4, 2009
mugGet the wet the monkeymug.

Butt Monkey

Someone who has an invisible, permanent "Kick Me" sign taped to their back.
They're the butt of almost any demeaning joke, they commonly have horrible luck, and a large amount of horrible things happen to them. Their existence is just to solely have horrible things happen to them. If anything positive happens to them, the person usually gets screwed over in the end.
Charlie Brown from Peanuts is probably the best example for a "Butt Monkey".
Bill Dauterive from King Of The Hill.
by Sadow August 31, 2013
mugGet the Butt Monkeymug.

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