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Rule one 

Rule one refers to the first rule of deciding if someone is worth getting involved with: "Never put your dick in crazy". Other more gender-neutral ways of phrasing this rule such as "never invest in crazy" have been suggested, but the central meaning stays true regardless of phrasing.
A:"Oh man, do you think I should get with him?"

B:"No, chicka, he breaks rule one."

A: "Okay, not happening then."
Rule one by Owlsongbitter May 22, 2014

that one guy with glasses 

Some random guy on Facebook that shares memes all day and thinks he's cool
"who the hell is that one guy with glasses?"
"some dude on Facebook that thinks he's cool"

the one you never had 

This phrase is indicating you don't have something, whether it's parents, drugs, money, llamas, a life, a brain, friends girls (or boys, not here to judge..... :/ ), a sense of humour or if you just want to cuss someone out and you have nothing to lead from
Your mum? Like the one you never had!

thats one fucked up nigga

A 'fucked up nigga' is someone who got rushed by multiple roadmen and comes out looking like a guy who got run over by a bus. For emphasis you can extend the 'fucked' into fuuuuuuuuuuckedd.

look at one's sales

(verb) to set eyes on one's money.
look at one's sales by Fangsta March 18, 2003

fun fifty one 

also known as bacardi 151, a very strong alcoholic drink, what one calls said alcohol when they've had too much of it
Kelly got so drunk off of 151 she accidentally called it fun fifty one.
fun fifty one by tsintao June 3, 2009