Wiped my shoes on her welcome mat

When going down on a girl you vomit in your mouth and either swallow it back or spray it on her cooter.

Dude, I was going down on this chick pastor and totally wiped my shoes on her welcome mat.

by max meat July 20, 2010

Don't wipe your ass before you shit

1.An expression you use to tell a person to stop bragging who claims victory before a brawl,race,match,competiion or any other event that has yet to happen.

A)
Kevin: let's see who has the speed to make it to the finish line quicker.

Eric: Man I got this,I'm gonna murk your ass!!

Kevin: Don't wipe your ass before you shit Eric ;it's not over till is over.

B)
Eric:10 bucks I get a better grade in my physics test?

BeHa: Man you always say that but you always fail,don't wipe your ass before shit!!!!

Jack: Yo Eric you ain't beating noone shut upp!!!

Mick: Yea don't wipe your ass before shit!!!

by BeHa February 20, 2011

i just mı ̨ade you wipe your screen

A bad internet joke that sometimes fools people.

I just mı ̨ade you wipe your screen

by Twenty One Discoball Romances June 11, 2017

cock gobbler in the shitter nigger fart dick fucking ass wipe fucktard autistic fucker

a dick head guy who just fuckes shit up even when he try to be good

harry you cant do anything right, your such a cock gobbler in the shitter nigger fart dick fucking ass wipe fucktard autistic fucker

by greg.gatzz May 30, 2017

one wipe delight

The euphoric feeling you experience where you go to wipe after taking a shit and you realise after one wipe that there’s nothing to clean down there

“How was your shit this morning?”
“Fantastic! It was a one wipe delight”

by My mama Jefe November 4, 2020

Ghost Wipe

The ability to force your manure out in such precious force squeezing your cheeks as your projectile moves so quick not leaving no trace of evidence

I took a ghost wipe since mom was in a rush

by PreciousToileter April 4, 2022

Infiniti Wipe

A term used for the endless amounts of toilet paper usage on your anus after an explosive shit.

The last infiniti wipe I had was after I ate at Chipotle three times in one day and I used an entire roll of toilet paper on that poop.

by JsBerries March 7, 2015