coffee table rules

When your buddy is impatient and doesn't want to "wait his turn" on the salty wench. You share your wench but strictly "no homo" style. Coffee table rule is defined as the rule of "you stay on your side of the coffee table (the coffee table being the females back as she is on all fours) and I'll stay on my side". The females back can also be USED as a table to set your beer or other beverage of choice on, assuming all parties are in sync and things don't get too wild.
"Sheridan, this may take longer than I had expected, you can jump in on the other end but coffee table rules bro."
by Bdiddy1 June 13, 2014
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table/bag combo

A two person job that involves backhanding a male in the scrotum and then pushing him over a third person who is positioned behind him.
"Tim is such a jack-ass...I think it's time to drop a table/bag combo on him."
by Fatts58 October 24, 2006
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Haussmann Table Saw

A power tool that resembles a table saw, but, if you look closly-er you will realize it is just a bunch of recycled Chinese Newspapers, eyelashes and bottlecaps that are molded into a form of a table saw. If you bought this table saw I've got 2 words for you: "Rookie Mistake." This is the chick version of a table saw and that chick would also have to be dumb.
"Damn my Haussmann table saw won't even cut through MDF!"

"Why did my one-legged Grandmother buy such a shitty tablesaw"

"I really enjoy using my Haussmann to cut carrots, celery and the occasional potatoe fry"
by Laughingmyarseoff March 10, 2010
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Talladega Table Cloth

v. the act of stretching/spreading of one's scrotal sac over the unassuming bitches face. a talented individual pulls his bean sack over the face of the frontal, temporal, and mandibular region (dyke if you will) of one's face after, or during the act of receiving oral copulation. (whether she likes it or not)
i met this sweetie the other night! we started getting down and dirty, and i immediately realized that i needed a Talladega Table Cloth to keep things from getting messy!

holy shit. this dyke started (unexpectedly) sucking on my chode. to keep from looking that dyke in the face i gave her a Talladega Table Cloth
by brewed and wreckless May 24, 2010
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kitchen table

When You come home to find your wife fucking some other guy on your kitchen table.
Jerry came home to find that he had been kitchen tabled by his whore wife Tara and a greasy mechanic.
by Remy69 October 26, 2017
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Nights of the Round Table

Nights of the Round Table are a group of four cadets and my roomie who get together on Friday Nights to play cards in the cadet lounge while I suck their dicks under the table until they've all had cumgasms, and after that they take turns fucking my boy-hole.
The Nights of the Round Table are cumming over later tonight, so I'll get to fill up on cumgasms!
by USAF Cadet October 17, 2020
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nights of the round table

nights of the round table is a group of five guys who cum over to my lover's house every friday night, and he makes me suck everyone's dick while they play cards and have cumgasms in my mouth -- yum!
Oh-oh! I'm stoned and my lover invited the nights of the round table over!
by USAF Cadet September 21, 2020
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