When you go to a church dance with all your Mormon friends and the next day you wake up with a headache, you legs are sore from all the line dancing and you can't remember the names of all the people you danced with.
by Penetration statio September 19, 2017
Get the Mormon Hangovermug. A main focus of the church of Jesus’ Christ of Latter Day Saints is on families. One purpose of their temples is to be eternally sealed as a family so you can be together forever. Resurrection part 2(heaven) is made up of three little groups depending how you lived your life; celestial, terrestrial, and telestrial.
Celestial is the highest heaven: it’s closer to god. you only get go there if you are sealed in the temple, have children, follow the word of wisdom, and if you repent for your sins. If you don’t have kids or get married, have fun in the terrestrial kingdom, especially if you’re gay. “sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded” meaning if you’re gay, the church expects you to suck it up and shove it. Next up is the telestrial kingdom, the place farthest from god. if you lived a good life and followed the Ten Commandments, but not the word of wisdom you go there. Hell is the absence of god’s presence. You go there if you get ‘led astray by satan’, aka leave the church.
Overall the Mormon church is based on lies, and only adjusts its core beliefs so it doesn’t get canceled. They have a good community that focuses on making sure even if you want to leave all your friends are from the church and they would just pity you for leaving. The families all put up a front to look good for each other so they can do something other than cry or make a sports metaphor about god in front of the whole church.
Celestial is the highest heaven: it’s closer to god. you only get go there if you are sealed in the temple, have children, follow the word of wisdom, and if you repent for your sins. If you don’t have kids or get married, have fun in the terrestrial kingdom, especially if you’re gay. “sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded” meaning if you’re gay, the church expects you to suck it up and shove it. Next up is the telestrial kingdom, the place farthest from god. if you lived a good life and followed the Ten Commandments, but not the word of wisdom you go there. Hell is the absence of god’s presence. You go there if you get ‘led astray by satan’, aka leave the church.
Overall the Mormon church is based on lies, and only adjusts its core beliefs so it doesn’t get canceled. They have a good community that focuses on making sure even if you want to leave all your friends are from the church and they would just pity you for leaving. The families all put up a front to look good for each other so they can do something other than cry or make a sports metaphor about god in front of the whole church.
Me: This is a rant and it barely scratches the surface. Go to the church website, lds.org, for their values, they have a dictionary thing that states their beliefs on certain topics. For stuff against the church, the ces letter by Jeremy runnels is a good place to start. Another good spot is YouTube interviews with Ex-Mormons.
by Macetree November 28, 2021
Get the Mormonmug. by morman123Secretsexerx February 4, 2022
Get the Soak the Mormonmug. “Once I get home, I’m gonna Mormon Blast my girl all night”
“Yeah, I did the Mormon Blast with her bro, she’s a month and a half pregnant.”
“Yeah, I did the Mormon Blast with her bro, she’s a month and a half pregnant.”
by Ladysman_217 July 7, 2025
Get the The Mormon Blastmug. "We were both hammered, we had sex and then idk man we just fell asleep and I woke up still inside of her. I'm an overnight mormon!"
by asianhandiespecialist January 23, 2024
Get the Overnight Mormonmug. .
Mormon's Prayer: "There are no losses, straight finesse, call me shalashaska, Used to call me absurd now I pull up on the curve because I smack more backs that I care to admit, I swear I spit hot lava and that is my sword."
by SuchBackSmacker March 12, 2025
Get the Mormon's Prayer: "There are no losses, straight finesse, call me shalashaska, Used to call me absurd now I pull up on the curve because I smack more backs that I care to admit, I swear I spit hot lava and that is my sword."mug. I tried to have a peaceful run this morning, but a Mormon roadblock prevented me from using the sidewalk.
by ChemiSPE August 26, 2021
Get the Mormon Roadblockmug.