Calm Before the Stork

(n.) The time during a woman's first pregnancy during which nobody talks about the baby or being pregnant for maybe 2 seconds. This calm, almost eerie silence, usually occurring early in the 3rd trimester, is soon shattered by childbirth and the spirit-crushing, torrential shit storm that follows.

See Also: That part in "Deep Blue Sea" when people start getting eaten, but Samuel L. Jackson and the rest of the survivors find a minute to collect themselves and make an escape plan, and Samuel L. Jackson is giving a speech about how they have to unite to escape the genetically-mutated, super-intelligent sharks, but then, suddenly, one of the aforementioned genetically-mutated, super-intelligent sharks jumps out of the water and bites him in half.
Though it seemed for the time being that everybody had stopped speculating about his unborn child's future athletic prowess, physical attributes, and the huge amount of responsibility it takes to raise a child, the man was not fooled.

He knew that it was just the calm before the stork.
by Consopite April 29, 2011
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Randy saw collin before collin saw randy
Randy saw collin before collin saw randy
by Real Alberto June 01, 2022
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100 before 10

The ability for 2 friends to be better in every way and more attractive than other friends in their friend group.
Why do you and Chad hang out so much” asked Hooper. “100 before 10” Ben said.
by 2AttractiveMen69420 June 06, 2024
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Before you were born

What parents say to get a rise out of you
Ahh, Before you were born the good ol days
by ChickenChocker69 January 30, 2023
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chums before bums

The gay version of bros before hoes and sisters before misters. Used regardless of position preference.
Scott: "Yo, poker this evening. Up for it?"
Arnold: "Nah, gonna get me some Derek this evening."
Scott: "Chums before bums, bro."
Arnold: "This great and completely valid argument has fundamentallly changed my world view, so I shall come to this poker game of thine!"
by DarkTemple June 23, 2017
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Straights before dates

The gay version of bros before hoes. Basically, you be a wingman for your straight friends before you get dates for yourself. It's a rule, trust me.
Straights before dates.
by Feeling Kinda Naughty September 07, 2020
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