certified gooner

a person who goons all the time. by all the time I mean all the time. I mean they have a 34 hour gooning streak over the weekend, and they wonder why they are tired all the time. they goon in school, in work (if they manage to get a job) they goon at home most often and they even goon at family gatherings.

dog, i managed to goon for 78 hours a couple days ago
so that's why you weren't at school you certified gooner, and stop looking at my tits loser
But why? I am the epiphony of rizz
i will let you think that
wanna be my sex toy?
*dials 911

by himolton April 25, 2024

Certified Maple Leaf Moment

When you've been going hard all year, only to fuck it up miles away from the finish line

Watching my daughter give up the winning goal in the 1st round playoff - game 7 to be exact, was a certified maple leaf moment for our family, filled with disappointment and frustration.

by BigGucciFucci April 28, 2024

Certified lover boy

Another term for pedophile.

Certified lover boy? Certified pedophiles.

by not_like_us May 8, 2024

Certified lover boy

A man who is incapable of growth and lacks maturity causing them to be romantically attracted to those of the same or lesser mental acuity as them, often times being a person much younger then them to an almost criminal degree.

"Certified lover boy? Certified pedophile. Wop, wop, wop, wop, wop."

by Legible Ghastino May 18, 2024

Certified Nigga

An individual of African American descent who actively participates in and represents the culture of niggatry amongst any audience . And individual who perpetuates the growth of an ever evolving community.

Wow... Jayveon really outdid himself this time. He's a certified nigga for sure!

by Thrasherpanda June 8, 2024

Certified Yapper

A person who’s always spewing nonsense, bragging incessantly, and interrupting conversations with their unsolicited verbal diarrhea.

Watch out for that Certified Yapper at the bar. He'll talk your ear off about his “conquests” and job title, but everyone knows he's full of it and lives in his mom's basement

by CertifiedYapperMans June 12, 2024

Certified

100%, no lies told, truth, guarenteed

Example 1 :
" Yo Jay I heard u got wit the new girl"

Responce: "Certified"

Example 2:
"I just copped that new whip, Certified"

by 5iveee June 18, 2024