churching

To attempt the crab position whilst maintaining an erection, completely naked. The limbs become the walls, the body the ceiling and the thoroughly erect penis, becomes the steeple.

'I like to thoroughly stretch out my pelvic muscles with a good morning churching.'

by Charon92 February 13, 2017

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Church

A place where you pray to the LORD so the LORD can forgive your sins.
read the bible and give your trust to Jesus Christ
Jesus is coming soon.

also I don't know much about church nor about Jesus/God/Holy Spirit I only know a little bit about them

I don't know what to do for an example ;-;
church is a place where your sins are forgiven by the LORD?

by AkemiDoesn'tMakeSense December 14, 2020

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The Church

If
The
Men
Find
Out
We
Can
Shapeshift
They’re
Going
To
Tell
The
Church

“IF THE MEN FIND OUT WE CAN SHAPESHIFT THEY’RE GOING TO TELL THE CHURCH!!”

by AkariFromJapan January 31, 2023

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Church

The best pyramid scheme of all time. The whole idea started about 4000 years ago when some religious hustlers found out how profitable human stupidity can really be. Since then, this long-con has only gotten larger. It continues to survive by indoctrinating it's members in as children, and brainwashing them into ignorant submission. After completely destroying their common sense, the members are ordered to recruit more people. They're encouraged to invite friends, family, coworkers, and even strangers to come join up. Knock on doors, put up signs, hold rallies, whatever it takes to get more followers. They seduce these unknowing individuals by promising them everlasting life, good fortune, spiritual healing, divine truth, and much much more. By methods of guilt-tripping, coercion, and verbal sleight of hand, they convince these newbies to forfeit 10% of their salary. But don't think the church is done there. Far from it. Clergymen also have the right to be tax exempt, have a say in politics, assfuck your kids, receive free housing, and receive thousands from charities and donations.

The Johnson family goes to church because they're a pack of ignorant sheeple.

by Moosifer821 December 28, 2020

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Church

The worst place to:

1. randomly laugh out loud

2. take a snooze

3. take a poo
4. wear flip flops

Church is the worst place to drop a verse,

One thing I didn’t mention until it’s my intention,

I let it and get it, never forget it, regret it,

It can’t possibly be worse, it’s terse,

Have fun and go to church, peace out!

by zinc_47 February 1, 2018

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